CMU School of Drama


Thursday, March 23, 2023

Who's Pooping in Broadway Aisles?

jezebel.com: I read a lot of news for my job here as an investigative gossip journalist. I have to know who is who, who is doing what, and where all of these whos are at while doing their whats. It’s common for all of these news items to coalesce into a dense globule in my beautiful, smart brain. It’s easy for me to lose sight of which celebrity is redefining beauty culture on their own terms or which tech-water brand is sponsoring the latest reality show cheating scandal. But one news item and its details have remained crystalline in my mind.

6 comments:

Jessica Williams said...

When I saw this title on the Newsquiz blog board I was absolutely taken aback. This whole situation just seems so outlandish and absolutely ridiculous to me that I immediately assumed that this was an Onion article or something like that. Additionally, even though the entire article is obviously pretty funny given the subject matter and general situation surrounding it, I appreciate that the article also touches on a serious issue - the lack of public restrooms in many urban areas. The author highlights the fact that there are few options for people who need to relieve themselves while out and about, which can lead to unsanitary situations like the one she describes. Despite this very true point, I do not believe that that is the case when it comes to this particular spree as theater’s are required to provide bathrooms and that the poop crimes happened very deliberately it seems.

Jasper said...

This is hands down the most ridiculous article I have ever read. The idea of someone pooping in the aisles of Broadway is not only rude, disrespectful, and gross but also downright weird. I cannot for the life of me fathom why someone would possibly want to do this. Moreover I can’t think of how this could possibly be done. Like the article said, there should be people watching the aisles during the show. While it’s true that the house staff can’t be watching every area of the house at all times, there are still audience members all around the house and bordering every aisle. How could it be that someone manages to leave poop in an aisle without anyone around them noticing? While I think that this is just a recurring prank, I desperately hope that theater audiences, especially those for Broadway shows, start to become more well-behaved and respectful of the art being displayed.

Sukie Wang said...

This is extremely funny, and I think will be the funniest thing I will be reading this year. I love how they called the audience member who pooped as the Phantom pooper. The description and the entire article is so hilarious in terms that it is telling such a funny and ridiculous story with serious, newspaper tone and citing what other newspaper have talked about it. It is also really interesting in how it talked about theories and reasons in why that person might have pooped in the aisles. It is honestly really surprising in how someone can poop in the middle of a show and no one around have noticed it. This honestly made me want to watch the show where this thing have happened because it seems to be that the show was too interesting and engaging that no one else have noticed it until the show was over.

Rayya Gracy said...

Never in my life would I have thought that I would be reading an article about someone pooping in Broadway aisles. Though I have finally gotten to see the day in which this has become a reality in which we live in. Firstly, what compels someone to commit such an awful disgusting, yet somewhat funny crime. I truly just don’t understand the thought process behind this person’s actions. Like what is the motive, what show was that bad that you felt the need to go into the aisle and take a poop. But truthfully, all jokes aside, I feel really bad for the people who have to pick up that person’s poop. No one ever walked into work one day thinking that they will have to complete such a task. It is just so disrespectful to the performers, your fellow audience members, and of course those who have to pick up your mess and I really hope this individual is caught.

Natalie Lawton said...

Okay, this article was not something I thought I would be reading this week. This article touches on a lack of bathroom access in urban areas which is incredibly true. You always have to buy something to use a restroom somewhere in a big city. But what is so outlandish about this scenario is that the phantom pooper, as they’ve been named, seems to be doing this deliberately. Why? Maybe because they can, maybe because they were dared to by some friends. Who knows. At the end of the day, some poor usher probably has to clean that up and I am willing to bet one hundred bucks on the fact that cleaning up human waste was not why they signed up to be an usher. It comes down to a lack of respect. Eventually, this person will get bored and it will stop but until then, godspeed to the ushers who have to deal with it.

Alex Reinard said...

This is truly a fascinating article. I’ve never before felt so connected with the world of theater, and now more than ever am I appreciative of this blog. There are a lot of questions that I, and I’m sure many others, have on this topic. Where do you even begin? For starters, wouldn’t it be a little more practical to shit in one of the rows, by where you’re sitting? I feel like it would be hard to shit in the aisle because you’re out in the open. And then, imagine paying to get into a Broadway show with the intention of pooping. The theater world is not safe at all. The box office should probably start running background checks to keep the school of drama safe. What if it happened in our very own Phillip Chosky Theater?? I mean, who would clean it up? Stagecraft 1? The TDs? Maybe the people taking production practicum. This is truly a perilous situation. I might switch majors just because of the dire straits we’re in right now. I mean, I have five crew calls next week, and now I’m kind of scared to go. Who knows what I’ll find?? We should probably be thankful that we got through Godspell completely shit-free. But what about You on the Moors???