Saturday, October 25, 2014
The Adventures of a Male-Bodied Transwoman in Drama School
HowlRound: I was six years old when the entire student body of Miss Murray’s Dance Academy was recruited for a local production of Gypsy. I wasn’t allowed to take ballet, but tap was okay for a boy—this was one of many compromises my parents would make over the years in their efforts to both foster my artistic growth and curb my effeminacy. I identified as female, but the world saw me differently.
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This just pulls my heartstrings right out...To be forced to put on a false identity in the one place that Bianca felt like she could be herself...What a nightmare. It feels particularly profound to have to stifle one's self in a discipline like acting. I am finding through the training here that acting is as much about exploring one's self as understanding a character, and it saddens me to think Bianca had been deprived of experiencing that part of the personal/artistic journey for so long. But thank goodness she had Michael Nash to help her find her place in life and on stage.
Although she had a different experience than those of us with the societal privilege to show our true selves onstage, it sounds like in some ways her path strengthened her art. She talks about constructing an internal reality in the middle of fictional circumstances, saying, "I constructed a series of 'as-ifs' that would foster both the expected end result onstage, and the proper inner motivation I needed." This is some of the exact same language that we use in class when talking about endowing an element of truth within the confines of a role! I suspect that Bianca's enhanced skill at creating believable endowments (from constant practice, as it appears to be) has aided her art profoundly. Furthermore, at the simplest level, her technique illustrates how to play a character that is vastly different from one's self, though her situation thrusted her personal gender battle onstage in a way most of us cis-gender actors will not experience.
This was a very touching and inspiring story. While I have not every acted myself, as a stage manager I often experience actor's processes first hand. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been for this woman to find her craft, especially in such a high pressure and cut throat environment. As hard as drama school can be for designers and managers, there is a much more personal, exposed aspect to an actor's educational experience. It is so sad that the professors at Rutgers did not embrace Bianca for who she was. Clearly, this woman rose above the people who were bringing her down and has luckily found her place in the theatre industry. However, this article definitely sheds light on the emotional, personal impact drama school can have on any actor, whether they are struggling with their identity or not.
It's hard having to hide who you are, and therefore having to improvise your own learning process. It's clear she wasn't getting any guidance from the schools--the faculty simply thought she couldn't produce results and failed to notice any possible problem.
In an educational situation, it's the faculty's responsibility to ensure that the students are receiving the educational experience they're paying for and help to transition them into the best adults they can possibly be.
I understand that she didn't feel comfortable enough to explain who she was, but I find it shocking that no one seemed to "get it:" that she was not a boy, or at the very least uncomfortable in masculine roles.
I'm glad she was able to overcome her struggles and find her niche. Sometimes the very people who are supposed to help you bring you down even more.
Not having to deal with the struggle that many non-straight people have to deal with, I often times find myselfseeing there worlds as if it was a news cast: something that happened "over there". Coming to such a diverse school and meeting so many LGBTQ peers, I have found that their daily struggle has had an astounding affect on me. My heart goes out to Bianca and I hope she knonws that she plays a leading role in inspiring young trans actors to do what they love, and that she is also paving the way for a more accepting theater world. One day trans shows wont be so taboo, and thos type casting that the current world seems so fond of will hopefully be a distant memory
At my old school-being that it was more centralized to the performing arts- there were several students of this nature that were always scared and wary of the roles and type casting that would be thrust upon them. This business is all about how you look and who is best fit to play who. My heart goes out to this man for the struggles that he was made to encounter on his journey to find himself. I am glad he has finally found a place in theatre where he feels that he can belong and be one with himself. The journey may not have been all that great but he can now flourish as a performer. This brings me back to the quote "It wasn't paradise, but it was home".
Firstly, I'd like to point out that there are so many issues simply with the title of this article. Calling someone "male-bodied" is problematic. "Assigned male at birth" is a better descriptive word. Saying that someone is male-bodied would mean intrinsically state that someone's body defines their gender and not their actual gender. Also, "transwoman" is no the proper terminology. Either put a hyphen between the two, or say that she is a transgender woman. Additionally, Zara, this is not a man, she is a woman (and referring to her as "he" is kind of completely missing the point of the article). It's frustrating that people can be "easily" accepted as gay (more easily than people of other orientations and gender identities), but as soon as someone wants to be called a different name or use different pronouns from what people would assume, they are attacked and people out-right refuse to acknowledge them as such. I'm so very glad that Bianca has found somewhere where she is happy and accepted and I hope more transgender and non-binary people are able to overcome the difficulties they face every day.
This story is very touched and inspired. I totally understand how hard it is to find yourself stuck in the stage of finding your true identity and accept it,which sometimes can be hard, then trying to make the rest of the world accept it, which is even harder.She's a very strong person with a heart of the true fighter. She never lets anything bring her down and never surrender to social criticism.
Sometimes I questioned myself of why this kind of story can happened in the art world especially. I remembered back in the 1700s, 1800s the period of time when people turn boys into boy-girl-ish not fully growth men, castrato is the word, for whoever has potential to become great singers or actors, even better if they were born that way. They got the lead role in Operas, they have their own patron,People worship them and look up to them. If this lady was born in that time she will become a super star. I just don't know when the world started not to accept this people and limited their opportunities and talents. It's sad and I hope for the day that they don't have to be denied by their look and identities anymore.
What an inspiring story! I can hardly imagine how painful it must be not only to feel different on the inside than what everyone expects of you, but to have that truth seemingly working against you, keeping you from being as successful as you would like to be. It is inspiring to hear that rather than giving up on her identity to become successful, Bianca stayed strong through all sorts of adversities, and it paid off. Although I may never go through anything as extreme as Bianca, it is amazing to know that as long as we stay true to ourselves and are willing to work hard, success will find its way of fitting it!
This is an incredibly inspiring story. In a world where creativity and expression is so valuable, being unable to share himself must have been crippling. However, I was especially inspired by how she worked through the challenges that she faced. Even when given smaller roles, Bianca was able to hold herself to a higher standard. She was able to use the characters to explore herself, and apparently put that practice to good use. This attitude is invaluable when facing projects that aren't fitted to one's strengths.
This story is quite touching. I can't even begin to imagine how Bianca felt throughout grade school and even up to her break through in college. I appreciate this article not only for her bravery in being willing to tell her story but also for the light it sheds on adversities transgender people still have to go through despite how far society has come. It is sad that she had to go through such trouble in hiding herself rather than being allowed to just be herself. Everyone should be able to be accepted for who they are and I am glad that Bianca was able to finally be her.
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