CMU School of Drama


Monday, March 15, 2021

The Unraveling of a Dream. My life in the cast of Hamilton: An American Musical

by daniel james belnavis | Mar, 2021 | An Injustice!: I have never been certain that I would share my experience, my real experience, with the show publicly. I’ve gone back and forth about it a thousand times. It has taken me the better part of a year to write this, not only because of the pain and re-traumatization it brings, or because of the care and intention with which I am trying to handle this material, but because of the fear and anxiety I feel about dissenting from something that is such a major part of the zeitgeist.

4 comments:

Ariel Bernhard said...

Trigger Warnings:

[SA, racism, mental illness, heterosexism, and self harm]

I think that there are certain shows that audiences find to be beyond criticism and I was nervous to break that by reading this article. I will say I am very grateful that on this blogspot it was tagged as sexual harassment and mental health so I could be mindful going into the content and further to have the warnings in the article. I am confident that as hard as it is to break the glass bubble of positivity with Hamilton, it is infinitely harder to go through the trauma that Daniel went through during his time in the cast. No one should have to go through any of that. There is trust in production and that should never be violated especially to the degree it was for Daniel. This is an issue in society and in theatre. It is never okay. Theatre puts its company in a position of vulnerability and no one should have that dishonored. I am surprised that the diversity of the cast is less present behind the scenes and in this case with the music directors. Every role in any production is full of worth and should be treated as such with their full value. Touring does seem like a challenge and I had not previously considered that there were physical therapists present but not therapists. The culture being created is shocking and terrifying. I hope that this can all change in this production and others going forward. No one should have to be afraid to call out the harm and no one should be creating such a harmful environment.

Sierra Young said...

Trigger Warnings: Sexual Assault, self harm, mental illness

I have always wanted to see what is going on behind the Hamilton perfection curtain, and I am so proud of Daniel for coming out about the harassment he endued while pat of the company. Too often issues like this slip through the cracks, because theatre is an industry whee who you know and who you piss off is super important to the opportunities you will have in the future. It creates this barrier of fear in what is a very white straight male powerhouse of an industry. Everyone who is high up in the ranks of Boadway in general seems to be a rich egotistical white man, and it's not okay. I am so glad that Daniel talked about this because thee ae probably countless actors that have endued similar pain in their time with a certain company, and this might make the issue moe well known to the public, and one day solve it hopefully.

Dean Thordarson said...

[TW: racism, mental illness, heterosexism, sexual assault, self-harm]

This piece was incredibly hard to get through. I remember my first exposure to Hamilton and noting how the majority of the cast was played by bipoc actors, and how different that felt from what I was used to seeing on major, Broadway-level shows. Of course, behind the scenes, the people you don’t see – all the managers, directors, higher ups – all tend to be white, cis men. Daniel Belnavis’ experience as ensemble member Man 6 is a disgusting, pertinent example of the ideals outlined by We See You White American Theatre. Everything about his experience – from being cast as Man 6, a role always occupied by a black man, being treated horribly by higher ups, continually getting passed over for promotion, ignoring his mental health and psychological struggles… I cannot even begin to imagine what he endured in those eight hundred and thirty performances. His experience is nothing but proof of the ideals that We See You White American Theatre laid out early last year, and is also proof that even a show as successful, popular, ands “perfect” as Hamilton, can have very dirty inner workings. My heart truly goes out to Daniel, and I was so pleased to see that he was able to get help to allow him to work through his trauma.

Victor Gutierrez said...

[TW: racism, mental illness, heterosexism, sexual assault, self-harm]
This article hits very hard because like many people I had though of Hamilton as a turning point for Broadway and American theater. It felt like finally BIPOC folks were getting the opportunity to tell our stories and see our bodies on stage. While that’s true, it was really just about letting BIPOC folks spend their dollars making all the white people off the stage a lot of money. It is infuriating that so many behind the scenes people are white. Not a single black music director? When only the visible roles (i.e., the actors on stage are required to be BIPOC) that is a clear sign that the diversity is just about appearance and does not come from a place of genuine concern for equity or inclusion. If people in power, white or not, want to genuinely make their work environments better, they need to start listening to people when come to up and just accept whatever they’re being told as truth. We are having very similar issues at CMU right now where students are being honest about being overworked and we are getting frankly dismissive response faculty about how that’s the way it is or it could be worse. Like don’t force people to debate whether or not they are suffering. If they say they’re suffering, they’re suffering! That just needs to be accepted as the baseline for conversations moving forward. Anything else is a non-starter.