Church Production Magazine: No one likes getting criticized and sometimes people in churches can provide some of the harshest criticisms. If you've been a tech director for any length of time, you've have had to deal with your fair share of criticism. I've personally had people criticize my actions, my motives and my heart. It's never fun.
9 comments:
Woohoo! We love learning about how to handle criticism. I am definitely a little unsure about this “taking the high road” that is written about in this opening title. I agree that no one likes to get criticism, however, it is super important to consider that receiving feedback is vital to the improvement of oneself. It’s important to choose the second path of internalizing criticism and being able to produce actionable items of change. I believe that criticism is a good thing. This article is interesting because the example the writer uses is an example where someone criticizes the way this person does something and how they do it in relation to their faith. I think that criticizing religion is very different from criticizing methodology. People have every right to believe whatever they would like, and that is very different then providing criticism about someone’s artwork. I don’t think that this article is that good considering that it's super based on religion.
Criticism is a tricky road to navigate for many people. Ignoring some of the scripture references in this article, I think there is still a lot to deconstruct and take note of in here that can be useful in terms of coping with criticism. I think criticism is something that is useful depending on who it is coming from and what’s being said. Biases sweep into criticism often, and this can lead to skewed perceptions of the truth. Because of this, I think the “valuable lesson” that can be learned in criticism at the bottom of the first page of the article, doesn’t always ring true. There can be truth to a criticism, but we refuse to see it as an individual because we have our own biases about our lives. In the same way, someone may give us a criticism that has biases in it due to personal conflict or personal opinion that may not accurately reflect the intention of what we want to do. I think it Is definitely important to pay attention to criticisms and listen to all feedback- good, bad, and ugly- but it is also important to take into consideration all points of view involved. By not only removing your personal biases from the critique, but also acknowledging the biases of whoever is giving the critique, you are able to holistically view your criticism and get to the core of what needs to be improved upon in your design, actions, or life!
I think one of the greatest skills a person can develop is how to handle criticism and feedback. I think that the most critical step is understanding and sending boundaries. When you are being criticized, it is so important to be able to look at the other person and request that they change their tone, discuss this later or privately, and call the other person when they are being biased. There can be some honesty in criticism, but the presentation as criticism is wrong. In my opinion a critique should always be reframed into a discussion. Sometimes this mean really enforcing those boundaries, so ensuring that both parties are showing up in the right headspace, showing respect, minding their biases, and discussing the issues they are having objectively. Anger is a secondary emotion, and I have encountered the kind of criticism that the article is referencing when people are angry and in a very reactionary state. A lot of this can be mitigated by taking some space and calmly discussing what needs aren’t being met and how to fix that.
The article states that the first path for people upon being criticized is to lash out. I actually think that the first path is to defend yourself in the hopes that your intentions being explained would clear things up a bit. I remember having a professor who seemingly made it her job to criticize the slightest thing that I did. At first, I'd shrug it off but as it continued I'd feel the need to defend myself. However, she then turned to criticizing me for constantly being defensive which absolutely blew my mind. That's when I turned to the "lashing out." (Not really. Kinda.) That would infuriate me because it was as though not only could I do things right and in peace, but I couldn't even defend myself. It was like a downward spiral, with the initial push being the criticism. (I must add, this wasn't always constructive.) That being said, I feel as though constantly being criticized, and being in a field where your work is open to everyone's criticism, builds you up and teaches you how to deal with it. Not only do you learn how to respond in a proper manner, but you learn how file the criticism based on what's worth taking in and what you should let diffuse into the air with a smile and a nod. It's hard. Especially when you're young in your career. But I think if you are surrounded by people who can help you understand that criticism and understand how to make productive use of the *constructive* criticism, you'll grow in every way possible from it. This has helped me so much.
Oooff yeah criticism is a tough one to deal with and something I know I've been actively working on for the past few years. I agree largely with the article and what they're saying. I can feel myself starting to put walls up and get defensive when people criticize what I'm doing but I think there are more steps to this process than are discussed in the article. I think first you really need to see what is happening, is the person attacking you or also coming from a place of defensiveness because if that's happening that greatly changes the situation. Criticism can lead to really important growth but everyone has different opinions so look at where the criticism is coming from, what is that individual bringing to the table, is what their saying an effort to improve what you're doing? Are they coming from a place of experience? Or are they throwing stones from a glass house. If it's not coming from a positive place let it roll off your back. My other issue with this article is that it leads to believe you're just in a completely passive position to receive criticism, but you can engage with the person ask them to clarify and explain. You don't have to just internalize or lash out you can try and find understanding and grow from the experience, questions may also help to clarify the person's intent. But criticism is tough but growth comes from places of discomfort and it will make us better and stronger in the long run.
I really liked their point at the end when they talked about looking for the truth in the comment before taking it to heart. I think we should all get to the point where we are comfortable with and welcome feedback but we need to view it with a critical eye and decide what is useful to us. I can be my biggest critic and can tear myself down sometimes but I also love getting criticism as long as it’s in the right spirit. when people give me feedback on my work they often view it completely different from how I did so it’s very helpful. If they have the intention to help you and be honest, then I would really consider what they have to say. But if they are being vindictive, condescending or contentious, often times they are dealing with their own emotions or self esteem issues and you just need to learn to shake it off. Because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what they think or say, they are going to forget it even happened.
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I like to pretend that I can handle criticism, but it is kind of hard to take sometimes. Especially when you put a lot of effort into something and you’ve already had to battle your perfectionism the whole way through making it, only to have someone else add to the “yeah but this this is off.” Even if I know it’s nothing personal and it’s supposed to help, it can sting a little bit. I’ve definitely gotten better with it over the years, but it’s still really hard when it comes to personal work. I was a little put off by the proverbs and how it talked abut god. I understand that bring churchproduction.com, it would talk about “the lord” and “christ,” but religious trauma makes me cringe whenever I see anyone using those in arguments. I still think this article brought up some good points about criticism, like how one should examine it for truths, and if there is truth then to make appropriate adjustments; and if not then to discard it and move on.
Gah. I’m not really religious, but I did want to read about how this article suggests to approach criticism. Looking between the anecdotes of the author’s religious experiences and allusions to the bible, I see some truth here. The author says that before lashing out, it is important to look into the words of the criticism and see if you can find any truth in it. If there isn’t, then just move on. That is a nice sentiment. The author also writes to “forgive.” Forgiveness is such a Christian concept to me, especially in the way it was used in this article. But I see where the author is coming from.
Reading religious articles gives me a headache, and this one is no exception. But there is some good to be gained from reading this article and there are some ideas that I will carry with me tomorrow.
Maybe I’m just insane, but I feel like I hold on to a lot of grudges and I just assumed everyone was the same way. Like I just thought that if I receive a piece of criticism from someone I am automatically and permanently demoted in their mind. And I just accepted that. Like if I EVER mess up, I deserve to be shunned and excommunicated. But recently, through conversations with peers and superiors, I have started to try to change the way I think to be more in line with this article. Now they make it sound a lot easier to put in practice than it actually is, but I am trying. The one thing from the article I am questioning is what if there is no way to change what you are being critiqued about? What if it is something immovable? Should I just take what I can put into practice and discard the rest?
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