I'm not talking about the kids, although there have been moments-the tween who spoke of herself in the third person and the 9-year-old who stormed out of an audition yelling at her dad that the accompanist ruined her song and her father better go in there and demand she can sing again with a new accompanist now.
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I am very fortunate to have parents who have always been extremely supportive in my passions, and allowed me to immerse myself in theatre full steam ahead, but I am extremely grateful to say they are not “stage parents” by any means. Having had the opportunity to be involved in theatre for truly as long as I can remember, and as I got older being able to study at a high level, I have witnessed stage parents. I have seen parents dress their 8 year old daughter up with a full face of makeup or drag their son into an audition he clearly does not want to be at. At that point, I almost just want to ask what is the point? On the other end of the table, I have also heard members of the audition panel say, “They were talented but damn, that mom was crazy.” There comes a certain point, in which the child begins to hate the art form because it is no longer fun. And when you are 8, you should be having fun! I think there is an important balance that should be struck when it comes to children working and auditioning in the theatre. Parents should support their children to the degree in which the child wants to pursue. If a child suddenly decides its no longer their thing than that’s that!
It is always interesting to me to see the stereotypical “stage parents” in auditioning spaces. Growing up, I was frequently in the audition room for various types of calls, and a lot of the examples in this article (and many more) were ones that frequently walked in and out of the casting office. For a lot of young children who get involved in theatre, there is definitely a balance between the kids liking what they are doing and the parents wanting the kids to love it, and frequently the pendulum can swing too far in one direction. I was really fortunate to have parents that walked this line carefully, and helped me balance the auditions with being a kid and having an actual life, but that’s not the case for everyone. I have only really seen stage parents from the audition room, so I can only imagine how different it can appear when you are across them in the casting room.
As a frequent watcher of the hit show based in Pittsburgh, Dance Moms, I am all too familiar with this aggressive behavior coming from parents that are trying to live through their kids. Like the article points out, these kids are highly privileged to be in a place where they are talented and are being hauled around to all these auditions while other kids in the Middle East are fleeing the terrors of their government. I'm very lucky that my mother was never that overbearing when it came to my short lived but hefty career in middle school musicals. The gossip is contagious and when parents start becoming as catty and competitive as literal twelve year olds, I can positively say that you have a problem and need to find a book club or something to find friends your own age. Though these parents have made their children's careers a priority more than their own life, theres a way of doing it by now projecting your own sour attitude on to your kids.
as a society, we are losing patients (almost completely) as we interact with technology more and more we lose our drive to connect with others. As technology makes it easier to stay away from others, people lose basic communications and manners used when interacting with and around other people. People are annoying in the theater plan and simple. One person in front of you can ruin the magic of an inter show just by pulling out their phone or crunching on an obnoxious snack. I watch King Kong this past summer in New York and in the middle of an amazing technical moment (my mouth was wide open in amazement) a man three rows in front of me pulls out his phone and completely ruined the moment. (yes I thought about throwing my $4 water bottle at this man) Sometimes the point of these amazing moments is to be present and focus on savoring the accomplishments of the tech and crew. The point of theater is to have a completely different experience than sitting in the comfort of your home. Being around people (courteous and not) adds to the experience and the story. Hopefully, the next time I see someone acting rudely in the theater I'll speak up and ask them to put the distraction away and just live in the moment.
I’m not entirely surprised that the holding room is the most stressful part for these parents. Not knowing can be extremely scary and nobody likes waiting. That being said, I really loved how this article ended. Saying that there are good parents that are trying their hardest in a complicated situation and that people should find them, is the thesis of the piece. Find the people you would want to build a community with and make the community for your kids is a great motto since there seems to be a fair amount of chaos in the child actor community. I wonder what tools there are for parents to make connections with child actors parent. Are there Facebook communities for show parents? Do they meet up for coffee like the PTA parents often do? I enjoyed this article because if gave me a different perspective on show parents and made me curious about the intricacies of having a young child actor.
Like Shazaad said, I am very familiar with the show Dance Moms and the first image that entered my mind in reading this article was of the overly involved moms of that show who think of their children's success as their entire identity. The parents discussed in this article remind me of some moms and dads I know from my home town. Personally, I think that parents who take their children's careers this seriously so early in life are setting their children up to fizzle out early, which is really unfortunate because with such a supportive parent they could probably go a lot further. This isn't to say that starting early with professional work will prevent someone from having a fulfilling career, but as seen on Dance Moms these parents are a nightmare to be around and take a lot of the fun out of performing for their children. Being pushed so hard by your parents for years and years is a good way to make a kid resent performing and could have negative consequences down the road.
As someone who works in theatre, this makes me want to encourage my future child to pursue literally anything else. And then again, I love it and there's a reason I do it. Ugh. Thankfully, I've only dealt with these parents in a very superficial and limited manner. During a production of Macbeth, we had two boys who alternated playing Young Macduff. One of them was a seasoned actor and his parents were chill, understanding, and very kind to all of us working on the show. The other boy was a fine enough kid (albeit that he never actually took direction), but his parents were very frustrating. We had wardrobe crew who helped them get into costume, and a run crew member who would keep an eye on them. However, it was still a nightly struggle to get the parents out of the dressing room after the show started. And this doesn't even come close to the level of helicopter parenting that this author writes about here! It is astounding how cruel and catty parents can become, especially when you think of how their outrageous behavior affects the children! I am glad to hear that the kids themselves show kindness to one another, and hope that these kinds of parents can learn from their own kids. Hearing from my friend who is a casting director and hires many children throughout the season, it is very often the ridiculousness of the parents that looses the children these roles, as they simply don't want to go through the daily struggle of interacting with their parents.
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