www.lifehack.org: Gone are the days where we can lock ourselves up in an office and avoid people. More and more companies are going towards open plan spaces and promoting transparency, collective work and communication. As an introvert, one of the biggest challenges I’ve had in my career was working with so many people. My type of socializing is to have everyone in one room so we can all read our favourite books without having to talk.
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Nothing is truer than the statement: "the current [workplace] system is set up for extroverts". The working world is structured in a way where interaction and communication is persistent and necessary. By no means is this a bad thing – I believe that open lines of communication are very important for a productive outcome – but as a pretty extreme introvert, it has been pretty challenging to adapt and change my habits to conform to the system for success. In theatre, this even more important because all the parts and departments of the show have to all come together in the end to build a great production, so it is imperative that everyone is in contact from the beginning.
I was hoping to find a new strategy in this article, but in my opinion, this title is misleading. This article is more about skills extroverts should use to work better with introverts and vice versa. I do not know about other introverts, but four out of six things on this list are things that I intuitively or habitually do already as a part of what is considered my introverted nature. I am a very introspective individual, so being aware of myself and being more of a participator than a leader is something I already do. Simply stating that you have to speak up and be more confident and challenge yourself is not really a "skill", it is more a statement – you have to do this to communicate, rather than giving strategies of how to better communicate. I think the only thing that spoke to me in this article is that confidence is really important, and that people should share their ideas more, whether or not they are confident with them. This is something I struggle with, and plan on work on this in the future.
I’ve always been aware of the fact that communication is the most important skill that employers look for today, and that’s never really been a concern for me. I have always been super outgoing and very extroverted; group projects were (and still are) pretty easy, speaking up in class, all of these things were my strong suit. However, looking at all of the other skills that go into interpersonal communication, I never realized how I could improve upon my outspoken tendencies: self awareness, confidence, and gestures, tones, and level of energy. Self awareness specifically jumped out at me out of those three. Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is so important to me; understanding your values and beliefs and using them to communicate with another person creates a sense of intimincay, that, as the article said, “As humans, we have the power and the advantage to do…”. We are human beings who can interact in an emotional way that means so much more than just being outspoken or having confidence.
Interpersonal skills are definitely a challenge, because to learn them and to learn them well you really have to commit to trying. Interpersonal skills aren't something you pick up in a textbook or in a class, you have to actually interact with others and try new tactics to really learn the best way to communicate and interface with others. And, as the article mentions, this tends to start with yourself. You have to have a sense of personal awareness to really be able to know how you want to communicate and get the things you need from others. I think it can be easy to be overwhelmed by the challenge of improving your interpersonal skills as well, because some people tend to just be able to speak to others much more easily and naturally without (what looks like) much effort. If you are overwhelmed however, the only way to get better is to really just practice and be aware in your conversations.
There’s a lot to this article and it is very wordy, but the ideas are basic. We work in an environment and a time when working with others is essential. These skills come with practice and some are more prone to them from the start and others must be taught. In any case, the article’s point of understanding your own voice and behavior is absolutely critical. I, like the executive coach, am both a control freak and a driver. Working with people who don’t understand these concepts can be tricky just as working just as it can be trick for those who are control freaks and driver to work with visionaries and seekers when the don’t understand them. There is a lot of pressure to produce work in today’s society. Communication is critical in an individual’s ability to produce this work. It is equally as critical for those producing the work to understand what type of person they are working for. Does it need to happen right now? Can you take the time and perfect it?
Some of this article is a little convoluted, however, one of the points it makes very clear is that good interpersonal skills start within yourself and with being aware of your own state of mind and the ways in which you function in the workplace. This can prove a challenge for both introverts and extroverts but in very different ways. For the extrovert, it can be hard to pull yourself away from the outside world enough to gain insight into your inner workings and how you operate. As an introvert, you likely have that insight in abundance, however, it can be difficult to move beyond the initial step of gaining self-awareness and actually put your insights into practice. Additionally, this article spoke in more general terms when I wish it had spoken in specifics, such an actual, tangible skills someone wants to get better at interpersonal communication could practice. However, that may be a little unrealistic for just an article. As Brennan pointed out, communication is largely a skill honed through practice. I may be just falling into the introvert trap again of wanting an article to give me the answers rather than getting better at communication by just going out and talking to people.
I am definitely an introvert. However, I am actively trying to make sure I speak up and share ideas, interject myself into group creative processes, and make sure my skills are being utilized as best as they can be. It is very important in this industry and is work like this to be confident enough to communicate. I think confidence is absolutely key. It is ok to be an introvert, and it is ok to not be super cheerful and “theatery” and extroverted all the time. But you have to be confident in who you are and your ideas and abilities. Introversion cannot stem from insecurity. It is impossible to make it in this field if you are insecure or unsure of yourself and your creative vision. There are many quiet but revered technicians and designers, but none who were not confident.
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