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Friday, October 27, 2017
I Was a Child Actress in Hollywood. There Were Always Whispers.
www.esquire.com: When I was a teenager, my mother had a friend, a children’s talent manager. He was bright, well read, and effortlessly charming. He also had a pool. We didn’t. On hot weekend days, we’d frequently go over to his house and lounge poolside.
8 comments:
Joss Green
said...
The psychology of who America as a society thinks looks like a "bad guy" who could assault someone is entirely warped and screwed by the patriarchy and even standards of beauty. Men who are more attractive are not hung out to dry the same way for assaulting women, though we know of many of them in Hollywood. The fact of the matter is it's easy to hate men like Wienstien. Men like Wienstien look like what we think a predator looks like. He is easy to hate because the very media he is a part of has told us he is the picture of a predator. Men like Johnny Depp, who was filmed on camera abusing his ex wife Amber Heard are not heard accountable. We as a society don't want to believe that such a visually pleasing person, a person with such talent could possibly be abusive. Could this be because America doesn't value some types of abuse the way we value other types? Is it because we need many women to all say it? The authors final thoughts are exactly spot on. In a year there will be another hashtag. With I admire hashtag activism, I would urge all feminists to address the predators in their life that they are friends with because all people inevitably know a predator, whether they be a full-time predator or not. It is easiest to effect people within immediate reach and that is the next step in this process.
When I was growing up, Bill Cosby would always be on my TV. My dad liked to joke that he let Cosby do all the parenting for him. He was great, funny, relatable, progressive. It was so always a good show. And all that time he was a monster. When the stories first started to break, I did not want to believe them, but soon it became obvious that they were true. No way dozens of women were all lying and accusing him of the same exact things. I was disgusted. It did not make sense that a man so seemingly kind and worldly could be capable of such atrocities. Just like any other kind of person, it is not always, or even usually, possible to tell who is a predator from their outward appearance. But the people close to him knew. You can not keep these things secret from everyone. In my opinion, those people have transgressed as much as Cosby himself. This is a systemic problem of people being by standers. Not just in entertainment, but in every walk of life. We can not just ignore these things. It is up to us as a society to stand up and quell every single piece of misogyny and predation that we hear or see.
I know that there are a lot of articles about sexual harassment and abuse, but this one was really well written, and summed up quite a few of the major points I have been continually seeing. "Women in Hollywood knew that to say anything in public about this guy or that guy was to risk a reputation as being crazy, or difficult. Not fun. When women are 51 percent of the population but less than 30 percent of the faces onscreen, the last thing you want to be thought of is hard to work with. Besides, skeptics always say, they went voluntarily to his hotel room; what did they expect?" Really and truly, this is a huge part of this problem. A woman is 'difficult' or 'a bitch' or 'moody,' a man is 'strong willed' or 'passionate.' The way our society is set-up is really brutal. Margaret Atwood's quote, "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them" is something that has really stuck with me. How do we fight a society that is so insidiously stacked against one gender? How do we fight against the idea that our loved ones too can be the monsters under our bed? I really hope that these scandals cause an actual change--not just a bunch of well written articles.
This author makes a lot of really good points in this article. The culture in Hollywood has now become so fundamental to the entertainment industry that it will take a complete rehaul to change the way things are now. Throughout the world, in every industry, men in positions of power use their title to take advantage of women. This is absolutely not just an entertainment issue, though it is perhaps the most repetitive and widely accepted in entertainment. Like this article and many articles have mentioned, there is an ongoing societal joke about “casting couches” and the persistent idea that a new actress that gets cast in a leading role must have slept with the director to get the job, even if that isn’t necessarily true. It is the culture we live in, and these are ideas that are just accepted and brushed off every day, no matter how distressing and upsetting they are. It will take a really long time to change these fundamental norms, and I honestly don’t think it is something that I will see in my lifetime.
These past few weeks have been a sort of onslaught of stories of women, both in the industry and out, who have faced harassment. I can count on one hand the number of women I know who haven’t faced harassment in one way or another. And that’s not shocking, at least, not to me. But what really gets me about this whole conversation is the reaction that a lot of men in my life are having. My cousin said he was shocked. He didn’t know that his sister, myself, even our 14 year old baby cousin has been victims in some form or another. My friend from high school was furious that this was all happening. But here’s the thing; they all seem to think the people who perpetrate these acts are perverts straight out of a movie. And they’re not. They’re my cousins best friend who always said suggestive things. They’re my friend’s dad, looking a little too closely when I came into their house in a swimsuit. They’re sometimes even the people who feel outraged, who think they’re supporting women. Because this article got it right. Things are grey, harassment has layers and levels. And men getting angry at these caricature perverts isn’t helping anyone. They need to start with themselves.
This is such a tough subject to speak about, and like Emma said, there has been a straight up onslaught of stories and published articles these past few weeks. It is crazy to think that people had put up with these things for so long and that it has just become a part of the humor and culture in Hollywood and other industries. I feel like many people, women especially, think that if this were to happen to you or if you saw it happening that you could just act up against it and it would just go away. But the issue the author brings up is a very important one – these men are not always so open about their actions. This actress spent multiple summers on this guy’s pool deck and never once did she start a serious inquiry about the boys coming through the house. She never confronted the girl at the party who was on a date with a much older man. Just because you see this or feel this happening to you, doesn’t mean you can do anything about it right away. I’m not saying there are larger politics at play, I’m saying it’s a hard situation and not every action could be lucrative to fixing it so you have to be careful. There are victims involved in sexual harassment and assault and you don't want to hurt them more.
Working in the entertainment industry should never be met with any feelings of predatory advancements. I applaud the authors courage in writing this piece as it provides perspective into what it means to be a girl, then a woman in Hollywood. In her first couple of paragraphs about the casting director with an obsession with little boys I was immediately creeped out and driven to a place that I would never want to be in. It's creepy, and to know that creepy men tend to get what they want goes past absurd and jumps into the realm of disturbing. A stand out from this article is when the producers of a television show told her mother to not let her daughter be alone with the star of the film encompasses the problem clearly. People know that there is something going on, but there is no conversation about it, its swept under the rug, and creepy men are at the forefront of movies and tv shows across the country. With all of the Weinstein talk, its important that these stories and perspective continue to take up this feed because its imperative that we know of its existence and impact.
This is a very powerful article about the institutional culture in the entertainment industry insulating powerful predators from ever facing consequences for their actions. Cummings personal story of her family keeping silent about their friend and his countless “boys” staying with him serves to underline the stark reality that her family was one of many. People all up and down the metaphorical Hollywood food chain were afraid to pull back the curtain. In an industry where connections and a single big break can be the difference between success and failure, people are hesitant to ever question or criticize the power players. They understood that revealing sexually inappropriate behavior would come at expense of their career, and in many times be ineffective, because these powerful men controlled the very HR departments that would punish this sort of behavior. This should serve as a powerful reminder that standing up for female voices in the workplace across all industries needs to happen to ensure that women are not taken advantage of sexual objects of pleasure by male predators.
8 comments:
The psychology of who America as a society thinks looks like a "bad guy" who could assault someone is entirely warped and screwed by the patriarchy and even standards of beauty. Men who are more attractive are not hung out to dry the same way for assaulting women, though we know of many of them in Hollywood. The fact of the matter is it's easy to hate men like Wienstien. Men like Wienstien look like what we think a predator looks like. He is easy to hate because the very media he is a part of has told us he is the picture of a predator.
Men like Johnny Depp, who was filmed on camera abusing his ex wife Amber Heard are not heard accountable. We as a society don't want to believe that such a visually pleasing person, a person with such talent could possibly be abusive. Could this be because America doesn't value some types of abuse the way we value other types? Is it because we need many women to all say it?
The authors final thoughts are exactly spot on. In a year there will be another hashtag. With I admire hashtag activism, I would urge all feminists to address the predators in their life that they are friends with because all people inevitably know a predator, whether they be a full-time predator or not. It is easiest to effect people within immediate reach and that is the next step in this process.
When I was growing up, Bill Cosby would always be on my TV. My dad liked to joke that he let Cosby do all the parenting for him. He was great, funny, relatable, progressive. It was so always a good show. And all that time he was a monster. When the stories first started to break, I did not want to believe them, but soon it became obvious that they were true. No way dozens of women were all lying and accusing him of the same exact things. I was disgusted. It did not make sense that a man so seemingly kind and worldly could be capable of such atrocities. Just like any other kind of person, it is not always, or even usually, possible to tell who is a predator from their outward appearance. But the people close to him knew. You can not keep these things secret from everyone. In my opinion, those people have transgressed as much as Cosby himself. This is a systemic problem of people being by standers. Not just in entertainment, but in every walk of life. We can not just ignore these things. It is up to us as a society to stand up and quell every single piece of misogyny and predation that we hear or see.
I know that there are a lot of articles about sexual harassment and abuse, but this one was really well written, and summed up quite a few of the major points I have been continually seeing. "Women in Hollywood knew that to say anything in public about this guy or that guy was to risk a reputation as being crazy, or difficult. Not fun. When women are 51 percent of the population but less than 30 percent of the faces onscreen, the last thing you want to be thought of is hard to work with. Besides, skeptics always say, they went voluntarily to his hotel room; what did they expect?" Really and truly, this is a huge part of this problem. A woman is 'difficult' or 'a bitch' or 'moody,' a man is 'strong willed' or 'passionate.' The way our society is set-up is really brutal. Margaret Atwood's quote, "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them" is something that has really stuck with me. How do we fight a society that is so insidiously stacked against one gender? How do we fight against the idea that our loved ones too can be the monsters under our bed? I really hope that these scandals cause an actual change--not just a bunch of well written articles.
This author makes a lot of really good points in this article. The culture in Hollywood has now become so fundamental to the entertainment industry that it will take a complete rehaul to change the way things are now. Throughout the world, in every industry, men in positions of power use their title to take advantage of women. This is absolutely not just an entertainment issue, though it is perhaps the most repetitive and widely accepted in entertainment. Like this article and many articles have mentioned, there is an ongoing societal joke about “casting couches” and the persistent idea that a new actress that gets cast in a leading role must have slept with the director to get the job, even if that isn’t necessarily true. It is the culture we live in, and these are ideas that are just accepted and brushed off every day, no matter how distressing and upsetting they are. It will take a really long time to change these fundamental norms, and I honestly don’t think it is something that I will see in my lifetime.
These past few weeks have been a sort of onslaught of stories of women, both in the industry and out, who have faced harassment. I can count on one hand the number of women I know who haven’t faced harassment in one way or another. And that’s not shocking, at least, not to me. But what really gets me about this whole conversation is the reaction that a lot of men in my life are having. My cousin said he was shocked. He didn’t know that his sister, myself, even our 14 year old baby cousin has been victims in some form or another. My friend from high school was furious that this was all happening. But here’s the thing; they all seem to think the people who perpetrate these acts are perverts straight out of a movie. And they’re not. They’re my cousins best friend who always said suggestive things. They’re my friend’s dad, looking a little too closely when I came into their house in a swimsuit. They’re sometimes even the people who feel outraged, who think they’re supporting women. Because this article got it right. Things are grey, harassment has layers and levels. And men getting angry at these caricature perverts isn’t helping anyone. They need to start with themselves.
This is such a tough subject to speak about, and like Emma said, there has been a straight up onslaught of stories and published articles these past few weeks. It is crazy to think that people had put up with these things for so long and that it has just become a part of the humor and culture in Hollywood and other industries. I feel like many people, women especially, think that if this were to happen to you or if you saw it happening that you could just act up against it and it would just go away. But the issue the author brings up is a very important one – these men are not always so open about their actions. This actress spent multiple summers on this guy’s pool deck and never once did she start a serious inquiry about the boys coming through the house. She never confronted the girl at the party who was on a date with a much older man. Just because you see this or feel this happening to you, doesn’t mean you can do anything about it right away. I’m not saying there are larger politics at play, I’m saying it’s a hard situation and not every action could be lucrative to fixing it so you have to be careful. There are victims involved in sexual harassment and assault and you don't want to hurt them more.
Working in the entertainment industry should never be met with any feelings of predatory advancements. I applaud the authors courage in writing this piece as it provides perspective into what it means to be a girl, then a woman in Hollywood. In her first couple of paragraphs about the casting director with an obsession with little boys I was immediately creeped out and driven to a place that I would never want to be in. It's creepy, and to know that creepy men tend to get what they want goes past absurd and jumps into the realm of disturbing. A stand out from this article is when the producers of a television show told her mother to not let her daughter be alone with the star of the film encompasses the problem clearly. People know that there is something going on, but there is no conversation about it, its swept under the rug, and creepy men are at the forefront of movies and tv shows across the country. With all of the Weinstein talk, its important that these stories and perspective continue to take up this feed because its imperative that we know of its existence and impact.
This is a very powerful article about the institutional culture in the entertainment industry insulating powerful predators from ever facing consequences for their actions. Cummings personal story of her family keeping silent about their friend and his countless “boys” staying with him serves to underline the stark reality that her family was one of many. People all up and down the metaphorical Hollywood food chain were afraid to pull back the curtain. In an industry where connections and a single big break can be the difference between success and failure, people are hesitant to ever question or criticize the power players. They understood that revealing sexually inappropriate behavior would come at expense of their career, and in many times be ineffective, because these powerful men controlled the very HR departments that would punish this sort of behavior. This should serve as a powerful reminder that standing up for female voices in the workplace across all industries needs to happen to ensure that women are not taken advantage of sexual objects of pleasure by male predators.
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