Jessica Valenti | Opinion | The Guardian: All weekend, I heard the same two words repeated over and over from friends around the country: me too. I watched as my loved ones, family and colleagues raised their hands online to be counted as victims of sexual assault and harassment – a move, the viral message said, to show the world just how many of us there are.
For women, of course, that meant nearly everyone.
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This week on social media the hashtag me too was plastered all over the walls. It was sad to see that there were so many. In no way it is it eye opining because we all know it happens and even men know it happens. What I liked about the me too trend was it opened the discussion between peers and family and collogues. At least me personally I don’t talk to my friends and my coworkers about their experiences with sexual harassment and assult (its just awkward sadly) and seeing the women and even some of the men in my life post me too just made me realize that people around me have also experienced this and feel comfortable talking about it. It created a since of unity through struggle. I don’t think this campaign will eradicate sexual assault and harassment, but it has started a dialogue about the topic in the wake of these events. I was unaware about the perpetrators list and I think this is a really good idea especially for the entertainment industry where “the boys club” mentality is prevalent. If woman have a way for looking out for themselves and for each other with this list, I think it’s an amazing thing. If this can blackball some of the men that have been doing these things to women, that is punishment in its own right, even if judicial action can’t be taken.
While the amount of times I see "me ttoo" on my news feed a day is upsetting, it is not at all surprising. In my body politics class, which consists of eighteen women and two men, we spend at least twenty minutes a session just venting about shitty men or times we've been sexually harassed. There was one class where we somehow began talking about catcalling, and almost every girl in the class had more than one story about a time they had been catcalled. Based on this statistic of 100% of the girls in my class having experience multiple incidents like this, I can't believe how surprised people are by the amount of posts they are seeing. That all being said, I can count on one hand how many men I have seen make posts about being problematic and what they are doing to change (the number is three, by the way). I remember seeing a post earlier that said something like "For every #metoo you see, there is at least one #ididit that isn't posted, and you probably know both people." There are multiple men I know that should be posting, and that should be trying to make a change, but I know they are not. Until people begin admitting that they were/are wrong, and actively try to be better, nothing is going to change. This #metoo movement will end, and nothing is going to be any different.
This article is exactly what I've been thinking this entire week. I was not at all jaded to the fact that sexual violence had touched every female bodied person in my life one way or another. Scrolling through my Facebook and seeing the people I care about divulging personal accounts and secrets for the "betterment of a cause" felt weird for me. It's no secret that living in a female body is seen as an open invitation by some men as from the time you are born. We have had campaigns like this all the time. Trauma divulged this way just serves to become a sort of "trauma porn" for predatory men to read about all the awful things that are happening to their victims.
But the idea of listing these predatory men in a space where the people who might be hurt by them can see it is really smart. Women and female people have an incredible way of protecting each other when they want to and that power should be harnessed as well as it can be. I hope this can be made among friend groups, in industries, any and everywhere it can be made to ensure that female bodied people are kept safe and the epidemic of sexual violence in this country can hopefully come to a halt.
I am honestly surprised that the practice of listing “Shitty Media Men” isn’t carried out everywhere. I know that at CMU we have an unofficial roster of men who are either creepy, are known for harassing women, or could easily be brought up on sexual assault charges. The first week of freshmen year I was told by my big to avoid several people – along with the reasons why. I was told that someone who is still at this school, and who I now warn people about, “likes drunk freshmen girls” and should be avoided at all costs. Someone who graduated was known for abusing his girlfriends and had multiple restraining orders against him. Throw in the “me toos” at the school of drama and it is clear that we are not above this “Hollywood” phenomenon. Most of the United States suffers from the same disease of sexual harassment and assault. Until women can accuse the perpetrator and be believed the first time without risking their jobs and future relationships, this isn’t going to end. I honestly don’t see that change coming. The “Harvey Incident” will be forgotten in a week, just like the access Hollywood tapes, just like the fact that Johnny Depp abused his ex-wife, just like Casey Affleck’s sexual assault charges.
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