Friday, November 30, 2018
How to Emotionally Detach From Criticism
lifehacker.com: You’ll never make everybody happy—and the people that aren’t happy are liable to tell you why. Criticism is part of the price of being human. But even though we know that, it’s hard to deal when the negative stuff starts rolling in. Share an opinion on the internet—or just report some inconvenient facts (ask me how I know)—and you may have hordes of people telling you what a bad person you are. Here’s how to stop criticism from ruining your day.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
20 comments:
I think this article includes a variety of tips that will help give a well rounded response to any type of criticism. There are some obvious pieces of criticism included in this article such as paying attention to who is giving the criticism and that most of it is interpretation, but the article also includes tips like... I think this article is unique in that it doesn't tell you to ignore it completely, it tells you to accept that it will come, and really try to find the truth in it so that you can use it to better yourself in the future. I think it is sometimes hard to separate truth from interpretation, but the article mentions that you should look at the many possibilities and factors of the criticism to really decide what is real and what is opinion based. When it comes to any criticism, simply take all the constructive parts you can.
I thought this article was very interesting. I have been working a lot on taking criticism from people and I thought the article did a good job of describing the ways that one can deal with and appreciate criticism. At the beginning of the year, we were told that if we were getting criticism, it mean that the person cared and once you stopped getting criticism, it meant that the person had given up on you. I have been trying to keep that in mind since and that has helped a lot in my ability to take criticism. I particularly appreciated that the article discussed how to recognize when criticism is less helpful. Not all advice from people is helpful and should be listened to but it is important to be able to recognize when you can learn from someone’s feedback and when you should recognize that what they are saying has really nothing to do with you.
Criticism is part of living life and can be very helpful especially if it is constructive. This is a very interesting article that gives us ways to handle criticism. It has very valid points and speaks mostly about the way we respond to criticism. I was expecting an article about negative ones but it spoke on both positive and negative criticism. How to take what you need and would be beneficial to your growth as a person and leave the rest. Accepting criticism can be very difficult especially if it is the truth and like the author said "tackle it on your own terms". The author makes a good point about most criticism that we receive have nothing to do with us but has to do with the other person. This is why it is important to be able to separate facts from emotion and take what is needed to make us better.
Separating facts from interpretation in accepting criticism is maybe my biggest struggle as a human being that I have been working on hard this past year. And not just in negative criticism but good things too. “Yeah but did they really actually like it or are they just being nice at face value?” Shut up. They said they liked it. Take the compliment and move on. This is so real though for a lot of us who struggle with just accepting what’s being said. Criticism doesn’t have to be bad. It can help you learn and grow. But in order to do that you have to not assume the worse when you are told information. Its not an easy fix to just say “Well accept it and move on” but I think an important first step is recognizing “Is what they said stressing me out, or is what I have interpreted their meaning to be what is stressing me out?” Being able to disassociate like that and recognize you are the one stressing yourself out is an important way to manage your stress better.
Though I feel I can take criticism pretty well, I thought I would still be helpful to read Beth Skwarecki article “ How to Emotionally Detach From Criticism”. Though I take criticism well when I get it, I do think to much on how to please everybody which can limit me as a creator and on a personal level, I needed to read this article more than I thought. Beth starts off by saying “You’ll never make everybody happy”, which is something I try to do, I have to “Accept That It Will Happen” because as she points out that its is an impossible task, and the only way to make sure everyone is happy is to not doing anything at all, which I think I’m definitely guilty of doing. I need to find balance, excess of anything can be actually quite limiting including trying to please everyone. Going through the article that is what I found I needed to work on the most, I will definitely keep this article in mind when starting a new project and in my day to day life. After reading this article some more I found I also need to take criticism with a grain of salt, I thought I was good at taking criticism because I don’t get angry when I get it but it is so much more than that. I sometimes, more than I should, take everyone’s opinions as absolute truth, doubting my own truths.
As an artist, my work and self-worth is highly base on what I present and what and how I contribute to society, so criticism plays a huge role in how I learn and develop my skills. However, harsh criticism can also heavily impact my self confidence, positively or negatively. This article is so important in helping those who are under constant criticism identify the helpful from the harmful. For me the most helpful tip was the one about identifying the source of the criticism. Something coming from a professor or an employer is much more important than that coming from a peer or a stranger. I think that every tip should be considered, but identifying who is trustworthy and has your best interests in heart is crucial in receiving criticism. I’ve heard, and now read, that you shouldn’t let harsh comments hurt you. They aren’t a reflection on your character or who you are, but are to help you grow in talent and skill.
I agree with Jess' comment above where she discusses her feelings about criticism. What stood out the most was this snippet: "Separating facts from interpretation in accepting criticism is maybe my biggest struggle as a human being that I have been working on hard this past year." The one point I think Jess and I differ on is the acceptance of praise. I think I am good at accepting compliments, but I have a really hard time no taking criticism about my work here at CMU personally. I pour so much of my time into what I do here that I think it is near impossible for me to not get personally invested in what I do. And that has been a constant comment I hear at my crits each semester, i am hoping eventually I can improve. Maybe with more time and experience. I will just have to see in the future.
As manager we tend to be in the line of fire very often. Because more often than not, we are managing people. And we can’t please everyone. This leads to being criticized very very often. This article was very helpful, especially as we are learning to manage others, we should learn how to manage ourselves as well. People will have reactions to our reactions, and learning how to receive criticism without being personally impacted by it will help us mitigate the reaction ripples. I think my favorite piece of advice here is to “Separate Facts from Interpretation” being able to sort criticism as facts from interpretation would be very helpful in the decision making process. When someone complains about something, we can always look within their messages, what is a thing we can fix, what is a fact, and what is an interpretation, usually their feelings about the thing that happened.
Criticism is a necessary part of learning, but that doesn’t make it easy. Learning how to not only accept it but use it wisely teaches us how to improve. I enjoyed this article because I find it difficult to use criticism to my advantage. To me there are two types of criticism: stuff you agree with and stuff you don’t. The first type is relatively simple to implement. If you made a mistake and know how to correct it. The second type of criticism is much more difficult because it becomes much more important to use these tools described in the article, including the source and separating facts from interpretation. Reality is criticism can simply be opinions and opinions differ. Another important tool I use when accepting criticism is separating any criticism about my work and myself. If a piece of art is bad, that doesn't mean I am bad and a terrible artist it just means that particular piece was bad.
In this world, we receive criticism form everyone at every turn in our daily lives not only by those above us but by those who we are tasked with leading in things. Around this time of year, I find articles like this a good reminder for upcoming crits and the stresses that I see people putting them selfs under in preparation for that process. One of the biggest things for me personally that this article talks about is to pay attention to who the information is coming from. Both the better the person knows you and the closer you have worked with them will ideally lead to better and more honest feedback that is hopefully designed to help you grow. Due to the type of article and the focus of it being of an online nature it had a sizable discussion on online comments and trolls which is often not the case or issue that we have to deal with in our daily lives in the theatre.
Criticism is crucial for growth, both as a person and as a professional, but it also can be one of the hardest things to hear. I think this article outlines some very good responses to criticism. It’s important to identify what the intent of criticism is, because sometimes people want to genuinely help you improve, and sometimes people just want to hurt you. Either way, one should learn how to move forward unscathed from that kind of interaction. It’s easy to lash out, but generally ineffective. It’s better to, as the article says, throw out the comment and think about the substance. Know yourself well enough to know what you need to improve on. Work toward that for you. I think one of the biggest things I’ve learned over my time at CMU is how to take criticism (both constructive and not). It’s one of the most valuable skills I have.
As a person who is prone to take criticism way too personally, I really got a lot from this article. I always think of it as a reflection on my work, which it is, but in a bad way, which it usually isn't. In going off of what Emma said above, good criticism is supposed to be helpful and constructive, a way to help you learn and grow from your mistakes. So, as the writer describes, the first step to not letting criticism ruin your day is to accept that it *will* happen. I don't think that this means you have to daily prepare yourself for mean comments being made about you and your work, but rather accept that you are not a perfect being, and bound to make mistakes that someone will notice and bring up to you. This criticism can be founded or not, constructive or not, but preparing yourself for them is a really good start to not letting it affect your own sense of self-worth and capability. The next three pieces of advice the writer gives are something I have been trying to implement recently (good to know I'm on the right track!). Is this criticism helpful? Is it a real issue or just their perspective? What kind of perspective is it: someone whose opinion I value, or just a critic? Do I really need to accept this criticism, or is this just something they need to say out loud because they are personally feeling unbalanced? I try to take most criticism with a grain of salt and weigh it based off of my knowledge of the person and where they are coming from. The last piece of advice is the hardest, I think. Especially if it is concealed in a very harsh piece of criticism. What is the truth there? Usually I don't want to see it, but it is a thing to address, and not just because someone else said so.
I read this article because I often have a very hard time with criticism about any kind of creative work of mine. I tend to default to the hope that my critic and I just have opposing styles or aesthetic preferences, or I want to assume that they just “didn’t get it.” This is even more challenging when, at an art school, the people whose opinions matter most to your work are the ones who get to give you grades. In other words, there are real-life consequences to criticism. I fully trust the opinions and discretion of our professors to know that their not totally agreeing with me on a piece of mine isn’t enough to ask me to leave the program, but the fact is that what they have to say is important to me on the most earnest emotional level. I thought that this article was honestly filled with great advice, but applying some of it to my creative work at school will be more of a challenge.
This was a nice article on breaking down criticism. If all someone takes away is the hurt that someone intends to put on them, it won’t be the most useful. Often people don’t want to take criticism, and their reaction gets in the way of actually in-taking some possibly valuable part of what someone is saying. This article was mainly focused on bashful criticism, however. This kind is very important to distinguish the other person's motives, and how that is in regard to how what you say will affect them. Separating this can help especially to people who are more out there and receive more of this, however I wish the article delved deeper into dealing with criticism that hits harder to home. That is the kind that will really stick and linger in my mind for days, It is harder to detach from. It was nice for dealing with gossip-like criticism, however. It is true, though unpleasant that the tech industry is filled with gossip-goers. This article will hopefully help a way to personally combat that when hearing criticisms third party from people you spend time daily with.
I think this article, and this skill set for that matter, is so important for everyone, but often especially theatre artists, to understand. I really resonated with the "separate facts from interpretation" point, because I think people often get bogged down with how someone else perceives them, rather than getting to the root of what someone is trying to say. When someone says they don't like something just because, that is very different than when someone says they don't appreciate something because they could not connect to it, or some other more specific thing. I think it is so important not to ignore, but almost put to the side, their subjective opinion, and look at the latter half and determine if what the reason was for that criticism and whether or not that is something you were trying to do or if it could be a potential area of improvement for next time.
This was a insightful article about receiving criticism. I think as a young professional, that is something I strive food constantly - to be able to take criticism without feeling shattered. When I was younger, I was one of those kids who would cry at literally anything. When I started working as a stage manager, the stagehands gave me a lot of feedback and criticism on my paperwork because it was very different than others they had worked with. Initially, this made me very upset but then I realized that they wouldn't have said anything if they didn't want to help me. I think that is the key to criticism. People don't give it unless they want to help you grow for the better. Since realizing that, I think my perspective on it definitely has changed and allowed for me to welcome criticism as a means for growth. I thought this article did a great job of recognizing that and the motives behind criticism.
This article is so important for the students in this school because, like all artists, we are under harsh criticism all of the time. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the negative side of someone’s critique of your work but there are multiple sides to be looked at in a criticism. I think as an artist, it is very important to also get a fresh perspective from that rando person rather than a close friend or a professor because of the bias. My biggest struggle, like many people that have commented on this, is seperating when someone’s critiquing versus when they’re just interpreting my work. I know I don’t want to be a designer so I’m already very cautious of the design work I produce, but learning to seperate what is constructive and what is an interpretation is a huge learning curve for me but in this school and industry, it is imperative to learn.
I agree with others sentiments about the validity and importance of this article. It can be so hard to receiver criticism, especially for many young professionals who still struggle with imposter syndrome and believing that they are capable. Often times criticism seems to rock the already small foundation one may sit on. The points this article makes though are so true, criticism is what make us better and not only that but grants us perspective that we might otherwise be oblivious too. We can't always see what happens and being able to receive guidance from others will only help us in the long run. I truly believe that it all comes down to perspective, and how we choose to think about, accept and address criticism. Like the article says, finding the motives is key.
As someone who struggles with criticism, I found this article very helpful. I liked how it provided concrete ways to think about the criticism being given from several different angles to determine how valuable it is. I also like that it didn’t just say to disregard all criticism- there’s probably a grain of truth in it somewhere, even if it’s just a random person on twitter. If your work offends someone, it can be helpful to determine why; sometimes that’s the intention and sometimes it’s an unwanted side effect. As people working in an artistic field, criticism of our work can often feel like criticism of us as people- I think it’s important to detach the two and examine the way in which we are criticized, especially from professors and other people we respect. We can learn and grow from criticism, whether you take it to heart or ignore it, and this article outlined some good strategies to do just that.
Being able to separate your personal feelings from your professional criticism is incredibly important for your professional development. You should listen to all criticism, but you get to be the judge of which pieces of critique you actually choose to act on. Of course, no one will know the intricacies of your personal situation better than yourself, so another really important step for assessing criticism is to self-critique and evaluate the criticism you receive against the weaknesses you assess in your own performance. This can help you figure out which critiques are helpful and valid and which ones you can ignore without damaging your future performance. Also, it is important to remember when critiquing that people cannot change their past actions and therefore the usefulness of critiques is how the person can use them to be better next time, therefore, the best critiques are specific and actionable. That way if the person values the critique and wants to implement it, the advice you have given is concrete and the next steps are obvious.
Post a Comment