Years ago, I went to a meeting in a hotel room with a powerful man. We started talking. He asked me about my sexual past, and I laughed and told some funny stories. I expect to talk about relationships and love and sex in meetings, since that’s what I write about. It was just the way he was asking me — he was pushing for details. I was suddenly aware of how alone I was in that room. Then he pointed to the bed next to us and said, “You know there’s a bed in here.” Like a young Dorothy Parker, with eloquence and wit beyond my years, I responded: “Yeah. I see that! Cool bed, man!”
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I clicked on this article having no idea about what I was about to read, but as I dived into this piece, I became very aware of the role of women in the film, TV, and theater industry. A lot of men refuse to take us seriously, some directors refuse to have women in the production process at all, and women get treated like the lady in this article. Held up to a mirror, and told she was beautiful. That is not what she went to that meeting for. That man would not have done that to a male coworker, and he should not have done that to a female coworker. I, like the women in this article, consider myself a fairly strong feminist, but if I was in a situation like hers, I think I would've done the exact same thing as her: stayed silent. He didn't sexually violate her, but he forced her into a position, staring at herself in a hotel room mirror, completely against her will, and that does not make it okay, that is a form of assault. The victim is never to blame, and this lady is incredibly strong for sharing her story and talking about this male-dominated industry in a way a lot of people don't hear about, because typically Hollywood is associated with glamor and fame, but it's really just hard working people trying to make art, and even harder working women trying to be taken seriously.
I completely agree with Hannah's comment posted above. What a horrible situation for this poor woman. To have a male peer hint subtly or, in this case, rather strongly, that there is a bed in the hotel room and that they should sleep together is both disgusting and disturbing. This woman cold have gotten seriously injured if this guy was more forceful. To think that a male professional would even consider this acceptable behavior shows how far down on the ladder women are placed in the entertainment industry. If this was me, I do not know what I would do. I would probably be too afraid to lash out at this guy, in case he got physical...How awful. I feel ill just thinking about it. Now is a sad and scary time to be a professional woman. I have started to feel less and less safe with the prospect of entering the professional world.
Meriwether does an excellent job in inserting her perspective into this heavy, uncomfortable topic. She stays reserved while also talking about the difficult things. I think this is important because it is very easy to lash out emotionally and go on rants and raves about why things aren’t right and how terrible this is, but this often makes writers look hysterical and too involved to give sage advice. One very important thing she brings up in this article is that “Silence is as destructive as it is contagious” because it’s absolutely the case. People who don’t talk about the issues or wrong doings of others are causing themselves and other potential victims harm while also spreading the notion that silence is okay – not actively of course, but passively. No one wants to be the first one to stand up and point fingers, and everyone wants to keep doing what they’re doing and stay safe and on track. It is important to know that standing up for yourself and keeping others in check is more important than stability, because if you’re in the right, you’ll be more secure than ever on the other side.
This article, being an opinion piece, very loudly speaks the author’s point of view in a way you can not ignore it. While I agree that women who speak up are ridiculously brave, I do not think that ‘coward’ is the correct word for women who do not. Societal pressures make it feel almost impossible, emotionally, for women to stand up for themselves when it comes to their own cases of sexual assault. It is like a warrior facing a huge dragon that everyone has said is undefeatable. Having the strength to even try to take a stab at the dragon is admirable. But I do not blame the women who are afraid to face such a large, dangerous-feeling foe. From the time America was beginning to be colonized, women were forced to stay quiet. How can one break out of those bonds of silence that have been enforced for hundreds of years. But, though I do not blame women, I do think we need to realize the work we need to do to move forward with equality, clench our fists, furrow our brows, and draw our swords. Because we’re not fighting the dragon alone, if we all realize that, with more companions, the dragon is not that big after all, we will make short work of it.
The victim blaming questions kill me. Why is the woman always at fault? Why does she have to think more about the consequences of her actions after the event than the man does before he sexually assaults of harasses a woman? It shouldn’t be a thought in the woman’s mind to have to weigh coming forward and standing up for herself and keeping a job in order to support herself in the industry. Because of this victim blaming mentality the landscape of the industry regarding sexual assault and harassment within is unchanging or changing at a very slow pace, in part because woman are not coming forward because of the victim blaming. And this is in no way the woman’s fault, but the fault of society for having these stigmas around coming forward. This idea that it’s your fault has been pounded into girls by society since a young age and unfortunately these standards transfer into the workplace, where there should be no place for them. Sexual assault needs to stop. We need to be teaching not to rape or harass, but until we can do that, we need to teach that it’s not the victims fault and you should not have to put your job above your self-worth and dignity.
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