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5 comments:
I agree with this article because most of my life, I have been a performer, and when you are a performer, you are always told you are in competition with everyone around you, always told that you are always being watched and are “always auditioning”. When someone is working in an environment that is always a competition, they are always watching and focusing on other people's work. When in the theater or any other performative or any form of art, when someone is always focused on others and always comparing their work to others, they will never create their own art, or it will never fully come from them. Their art will always be a reflection of what they think will do better, or what they think will succeed, or beat their opponent. For an artist to succeed and for art to be authentic and real from the artist, their art must come from themselves and not a way to “win”.
I think that this article is very real in how it goes about addressing the issue of imposter syndrome and competitive culture. In one of my other classes, we are doing a project on non-profit theatre companies and seeing if their work aligns with their values, and I think this idea is something to keep in mind not only for the project, but for any company or production you are working on. As a competitive person, I don't like to fall behind or to fail. But nobody is perfect, and I have experienced both of those things and know what it feels like to have a competitive environment tear you down. People think that being cutthroat will get them a step up because they are doing what is best for them while disregarding everyone else. I wish kindness and selflessness were something more people looked toward rather than hate and selfishness. Workplaces should be more focused on having a healthy work culture rather than a destructive one.
I am currently in a class called Organizational Behavior and we have spent a lot of time studying things like this. In my opinion competitive environments are the worst environments that we can create. Because if it is a competitive environment everyone is on their defense and that leads to a ripple effect of poor judgment making and biases. I feel like this is incredibly applicable to our program here at CMU School of Drama. As much as people talk about how supportive people are in the program (which is mostly true) there is still very much a sense of competition and something I have picked up on since starting production is everyone is constantly trying to cover themselves and I also think that leads to impostor syndrome. I have also noticed that being a SM and not an ASM I fight off a lot more impostor syndrome and I think a lot of it has to do with feeling more exposed and like if I mess up there is a lot of light on it.
When I got to CMU I almost immediately heard some of the actors talk about how they feel like they shouldn’t be here and that they have no clue how they made it into this program. Even in the DP program I have even personally felt surprised I was here and I have heard similar things from others as well. At home I watched something similar happen when I was working in a grocery store bakery. My manager got passed over for 4 years as the Manager and stayed as the assistant manager for 3 years when she should have been the manager all along and this caused her to have some imposter syndrome and make her think that she wasn’t fit for the job or the one she had and it rubbed off on the woman who got the position of manager first. It kind of goes to show that feeling like an imposter can happen to absolutely anyone in any situation.
Comparison is the thief of joy. In college, work environments and in many other aspects of our lives we are stacked up next to one another. There is a level of competition and comparing oneself to another and it unfortunately happens. What I feel can be addressed is the acceptance of minor mistakes and the encouragement to be you and always do your best. With an understanding that yesterday's best may be better or worse than today's best or vise versa but we as a community believe that everyone is truly doing their best. This mentality is directly contradicted by a competitive mindset. This mentality forces the individual to always believe they are the best and deserve the win. We should encourage helping one another, we should lean into our community when we don't understand something. This will allow for an environment that represents support and cooperation. It's interesting to consider how the environments we are in may affect how we view ourselves.
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