Saturday, March 23, 2013
Etiquette Redefined in the Digital Age
NYTimes.com: Some people are so rude. Really, who sends an e-mail or text message that just says “Thank you”? Who leaves a voice mail message when you don’t answer, rather than texting you? Who asks for a fact easily found on Google?
Don’t these people realize that they’re wasting your time?
Of course, some people might think me the rude one for not appreciating life’s little courtesies. But many social norms just don’t make sense to people drowning in digital communication.
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8 comments:
This article really irked me. I am already fairly fed up with our whole digital age that seems to have taken over almost every single aspect of our lives and I don't think any of this guys argument is warranted. First of all, being rude and taking time to communicate with another human being are not even close to the same thing. I especially disagree with what he had to say about voice mails. I have quite a few voice mails that I keep stored on my phone because what the other person had to say was special to me. They are kind of like letters. Also they are much more personal than a text since you actually get to hear the persons voice and the way they are saying everything. Also the way he talked about using text since you didn't have to greet the person really got to me. If this is the attitude of our world towards communication now, I am rather concerned about the world my children will grow up in. I feel like there is so much necessity in an abundance of face to face communication.
I actually agree with the author of this article. Does he take a brisk, and somewhat rude stance? Yes. But, this doesn't mean what he has to say isn't relevant. While I'm a big fan of face to face communication, and one of my big links to home is having phone conversations, not text or e-mail conversations, instant communication is crucial. In this day and age, we rely on this technology. If a light board breaks down during a show and erases the information, we'd want an instant text from the designer. The biggest personal reference I can think of is when I was in high school and my mother would call me. She would usually call me while I was managing a rehearsal and taking blocking notes. I would see (or feel) my phone ring, and not answer it. She'd call me between five and ten times, usually leaving an angry voicemail every other time. As soon as rehearsal got out, I wouldn't listen to any of the voicemails, but I would then call her and ask what she wanted. Absolutely unnecessary communication. If she had originally sent me a short text message such as "Will you be staying past 8pm tonight?" Then I could easily respond as a scene was resetting in about 15 seconds, and then immediately go back to working. This was about three years ago that this problem reached it peak. I finally sat down with her and explained text messaging. It ended her frustrations with me not answering phone calls, and it made me less frustrated than a phone that was constantly buzzing and wasting battery life. Is there still a time and place for phone calls, thank you e-mails (such as after a job interview), and asking directions? Absolutely. But, each situation is individual, and linked to the person with whom the communication is taking place with.
I find it extremely depressing that people can't simply be *bothered* to be kind or polite to their peers because it takes too long. What I find even more depressing, is that I actually agree with the author. Sometimes texts that say "Thank you" or "ok" are just unnecessary and fairly aggravating when I'm in the middle of my homework or working on a project. However, When people say thank you, it's nice to be reminded that not everyone is inconsiderate out there. I agree that phone conversations and voicemails aren't exactly relevant all the time anymore, but I actually find it nice that someone cares enough to call so they can actually talk to me about something. Even if the question is just, "I'm going to the store, do you need anything?" it shows that someone actually cared enough to put in the effort to talk to me about it. The way I see it, making phone calls can be such a *hassle*. When someone actually calls me its nice to know their putting in the effort.
My sister leaves me those voicemails. Like 5 minutes long. Signifying nothing. Or at least, nothing she couldn't have written in 60 characters or less. I hate that it annoys me, and I am just happy to hear her voice every once in a while, but the fact is I listen to the first 20 seconds and then delete it (but don't mention it to her, please). So much of spoken language is filler, and in most cases I think conveying information textually is much more efficient than doing it verbally. This of course coming from the jerk who spews out 500 word comments for no reason. The thing that I struggle with most in the character limited world of text messaging is the use of proper syntax and grammar, especially in professional situations when I think the truncated writing style so many of us have casually adopted can be taken as a lack of care, or worse, stupidity. As a consequence, I almost never abbreviate or skip words when texting or emailing, which I understand misses the point a lot of the time, and uses my time less efficiently than might be strictly optimal. I guess I feel like the least we can do in the finite space allotted to us is complete sentences and make sense, and maybe I think people appreciate someone taking the time to tap out a message that follows some sense of order. And how will the digital anthropologists (is that a real job BTW?) of the future decipher our cryptic abbreviations and apparent lack of grammatical standards? If you're reading this in a distant future, a note: LOL does not mean what my mom thinks it means. Good luck.
Like April I keep some voice mails I feel they are in a sense letters as well. If I'm having a bad day all I have to do is dial my voicemail and listen to one of my friends drunk dials and I am in a great mood. I think some voice mails are extremely irrelevant though like "call me" really? You didn't call to waste your minutes how strange... I think politeness is extremely important though and regardless of a simple thank you I am happy to receive it. In regards to stupid questions that could be easily answered that KILLS me. In regards to hours I think it is perfectly acceptable to ask. If someone works there or is frequently there then naturally they would know and would tell. I
I absolutley agree with Kelly Hartnett. Her thoughts on this article are actually quite like what I thought when I read it. I think that instant communication of today's age is brutal and difficult. It creates so much unneeded miscommunication. Also, texts, emails, and any form of instant communication is far less personal than the normal face to face conversations that everyone USED to have. I wish that we were able to take the time to shut off our technology and live how our grandparents lived. My grandparents always talk about how communication used to be. How they used to ask people to hang out. I love what they say. I love the simple nature of face to face conversations. But, then again, I love the quick nature of texts...
Parts of this article make sense, like the bit on stupid questions. Why ask someone something that Google can answer, it probably takes more effort anyway. And voice mail has become a little outdated in most cases, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't use it at all. What if something important came up? You should at least be checking your voice mails. But the rest of it I totally disagree with. It is obnoxious to reject a thank-you via text. You are showing your appreciation if that pisses off the person whose life you just took half a second away from then they have bigger issues. Texting is quick its not like you have to respond to such a text if you don't want to. And why wouldn't you at least be nice to your customer base. If you are an author selling a book instead of being an ass and complaining about the stupid question from someone who wants to buy your work, just suck it up and answer it.
I don't have the problem that seems to be being discussed in this article, and I don't think I really know anyone who does. Sure, people hide behind their phones to avoid awkward conversations or situations, but that doesn't really bother me unless it's very evident that they are doing it on purpose. Mostly they do it to make themselves feel less weird, and not to alienate other people. Also, I don't think that replying just "thank you" to an e-mail is unwarranted. In fact, I think it can be polite if no other information is required but you wanted them to know you got their last message. Maybe face to face communication is better, and certainly an option if someone is just down the hall. But what if they are in another state, or another country. Digital communication has made it possible for us to talk to people who are hours away instantly and consistently. And I think that's a pretty cool and powerful thing.
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