TCG Circle: It’s a strange dream where I’m sitting in a playpen eating red meat with my partner and we are breaking up. I’m the one saying “It’s not you, it’s me.” I’m really attracted to this guy and I keep wondering what I am doing and whether we should have sex one more time. Then, in reality, I wake up to my 1.5 year old crying. We sit in the rocking chair in the dead of night. Who was this guy in the dream? I think about it, staring out the window at all the lights of Seattle spread out before me. I’m breaking up with the theater.
4 comments:
Reading an article with this level of introspection is sobering to read. Anything you are passionate about will consume a lot of your time, and many people choose to put that passion higher on the priority list than other things that they want to do. It will be interesting to see how such a fast paced field with so many aspiring participants welcomes someone after their hiatus. Sometimes you have to make decisions that will hinder the option you don’t cater to. Conbere said she burned a lot of bridges while pregnant with her child, and that’s not giving anything to their community. That is only increasing her distance from the field she loves. If she gets too far from it she will regret it. This is a just a balancing act between two separate worlds-but if she wishes to take it on she should.
The idea of not loving theatre anymore one day scares me. It is so much of who I am and so much of what I look forward to. I don’t like the idea that one day after working in theatre for years I might realize it just doesn’t make sense anymore. Oddly enough, this article makes me less nervous. Conbere worked in theatre for awhile, she isn’t as involved anymore, but she has a different job she likes. As I am finishing high school, I feel a lot of pressure to make sure I go to the right school and get a major that will set me up for whatever job I do for the rest of my life. Being reminded that someone’s first job doesn’t dictate their future is helpful. This article shows that people (or at the very least one person) can change and then adapt to those changes. If someone’s interests, values, and priorities never change they either found the secret to life or they aren’t thinking. In the end, people change and life takes strange turns, all planning for the future is really just guess work.
A life of theatre is a stressful one, everyone should know that. Between hectic rehearsals, tech calls, onstage crisis, and the general necessity to work with people, it is undoubtedly one of the most fast paced industries out there. This being said, theatre simply isn’t for everyone. People who depend on their social lives, people who have issues working all day (and sometimes all night), and people who have other responsibilities like a newborn son. Theatre people should not resent those who decide to break up in the same way that a significant other shouldn’t. It just wasn’t working out, and that’s okay. After any amount of time in theatre, you are bound to be impacted by it, and in the end that’s all that matters. Theatre is here to make an impact, even if it’s in the slightest way.
There is definitely a big appeal in being a member of the theatre community. From being in this program, I'm giving a taste of it-- the opportunity to put every bit of my time and energy into one specific passion, and the opportunity to surround myself with ridiculously talented and passionate people.
They say that you shouldn't pursue a career in theatre unless you can't live without it. I believe this is completely true. Theatre is an attractive business, it offers that specific satisfaction of living through your passion. However, just as this article suggests, you have to put all your energy into your work. You can't just have a casual relationship with theatre. In order to made a difference in any art form, your entire soul is required.
Art is unique in that it's something everyone can experience, but only a few can truly create.
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