Intermission Magazine: As I embarked on my gender journey, it was very apparent that there are startlingly few roles for people like me in the theatre industry. Some theatres and university productions are more progressive when it comes to gender-bent casting, however casting of that nature is scarcely seen in other areas of the performance industry unless the character is explicitly written as non-binary or gender non-conforming. I mean, let’s be honest: There isn’t even a category for us in any awards show that highlights actors.
3 comments:
This article really resonates with me - the idea of being limited by arbitrary gender roles for one’s career sounds incredibly stifling, both personally and creatively. The author describes the pain of bringing a character’s gender into their own life, and how that distorted the relationship between them and their co-workers. The mention of imposter syndrome regarding gender expression is an interesting point, as there’s a duality the author points out. It both significantly hurts and slightly helps one's prospects in a highly gendered field and world - but being a box to tick is a harmful mentality in and of itself. The fact that there aren’t many roles that are welcoming of non-binary or gender-non-confirming actors is saddening, but not surprising. The author details the feeling of being connected to their feminine side after pretending to be a girl during their childhood, which probably helps them as an actor. I find the subsequent idea to be very intriguing: a broad spectrum of characters and roles shouldn’t be limited by gender regarding either actor or character. I’ve never thought about it from the actor’s perspective, only on the character side of things.
I am a woman, and I was born female. However, I resonated with this article because for a long time I thought that I had to play the part of a boy even when I didn’t want to. Gender identity and the stereotypes of gender expression can be extremely damaging to anyone, and both the author and I (though we have very different experiences), are proof of that. When I was a child, all I ever wanted to do was dress in flowy gowns and play with Barbie dolls and toy makeup- traditionally feminine things. However, my mother hated the idea of me being feminine at all. She only allowed me to wear boy’s clothing, took my dolls from me, and would tell me that I had to be different, unique, ‘not like the other girls’. I recognize now that she was struggling with her own childhood, but it really damaged me. When I cut my hair as a teen, I had a whole gender crisis where I thought that I had to be a boy in order to have short hair because I wasn’t “good enough” or “feminine enough” to be who I wanted to be. I had several breakdowns over the loss of my feminine hair and whether I was really a boy all along. I still struggle with the concept. I don’t think the internal struggle will ever completely go away. The author of this article is non-binary, and struggles with their own personal journey and the world around them similar to how I did. Though we have different endings, I connected to this article and I agree with their message: You can be whoever you want to be, society doesn’t get to determine who you are. Theater is all about expressing yourself and telling a story. You shouldn’t have to be just like the character you play; being true to yourself is what's most important.
As a trans person, this article really resonates with me, especially since my story sounds a lot like Kailin's. I started out as an actor when I was 6, and while my most recent credits have all been (required) class shows, it's a skill I break out often. Much like Kailin, I've spend a lot of my life pretending; pretending to be a girl, pretending to be neurotypical, pretending I know what I'm doing, and there was a long time (in my childhood and tweens) when I saw acting as an escape, a chance to be myself by being someone I wasn't. Unlike Kailin, as I got older, I feel out of love with acting. There were a lot of reasons why, mostly because I realized I had a calling in tech, but there is no denying that the box Kailin describes in this piece, the gendered box that type-casted me into female-identifying roles (mostly old women, actually, it was weird), really drew me away from the stage. Unlike Kailin, I have no interest in pursuing acting professionally, and as I went through high school and my roles became solely course requirements, I got to play more male roles (high school theatre is always short on guys), which did help me regain some enjoyment in acting as a craft. But from that experience: the experience of walking into a casting room and knowing that the roles that I want aren't for the female-presenting, and the roles my director wanted me in would leave me feeling uncomfortable for the whole run, I am certain that I will never go back to acting (as a hobby) in any significant way. I feel for Kailin, and I am glad that other trans people can bring themselves to move past that discomfort to bring more visibility to the community.
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