www.clydefitchreport.com: A well-employed writer, I was seduced into a brainstorm for the third series of a television drama. This would require two or three separate weeks and involve sitting in a room with four other writers, the producer and a note-taker, and improvising a broad-stroke story arc for a new series, building on the strengths of the previous ones. If all went well I would most likely end up writing for the series.
10 comments:
Criticism is hard to digest. But it is what makes something better. However, often people mistake the art of bullying or troubling people to be "critiquing" the work.
This is what this article clearly tackles: a women being bullied by another women to produce a work of the latter's kind. Trying to get something according to one's own wishes is not bad-- until that starts creating troubles for someone else.
In a work space, collaboration is very important. It is through collaboration that different ideas come together and the best of the ideas is formulated.
If in such a work space a healthy collaboration is not achieved, it can be stressful working for and beside other people.
The lady in the article is troubled by her boss because all she can get from her are creepy eyes, a dissatisfied look and unhealthy comments. This is not an ideal situation for anyone working in a creative environment.
First, this woman really is a good writer. I enjoyed reading it as if it were a piece of fiction; I pictured the room, felt the emotion. It was a nice difference from other articles I’ve read. Second, women bullying women is a really difficult topic to handle. How can we tear at each other when so many outside are tearing at us? I agree with this anonymous, I believe it is some sort of coping mechanism, in some cases voluntary (like this producer’s strategy to build her shell and build her respect in a “man’s world”) in some cases involuntary (like those who project their own insecurities). I think either way it stems from the need to prove oneself, from the competition to be a part of things women “aren’t” supposed to be a part of, the competition none of us want to be a part of. I wish it were as easy as to just have confidence in yourself and your work and flexibility in your mind, but like anonymous saw, the criticism wears you down. Before you know it, you might be turning it outward to avoid tunneling deeper inside.
It is horrible that the writer had this problem and was put in this situation. Women tend to be harder on other women then on men, which can put us at a disadvantage in an already unequal workplace. However, due to the vagueness of the article, it's hard to tell if the writer was bullied because she was a women or if there was another reason. Since we don’t know the genders of the other people in the room, makes it hard to know what truly happened. Regardless, it's amazing that this women felt empowered to share her story. Sharing could empower other women to leave a toxic work environment. Also, hopefully women in positions of power can recognize how destructive this behavior is for other women. Hearing about how the criticism severely affected someone, could change someone's behavior. No matter what, as people we need to be more aware of how we are treating each other and the effect our words and ton can have.
I have always loved the saying: empowered women empower women. I completely understand the fear that there are merely not enough room at the table for all of us to be there, but if that's the case, get a bigger table. Clearly in this person's circumstance, there was not a clear way to handle the situation and thankfully it wasn't long term employment. It can be so difficult to gain respect while also being polite and kind, because manners can be perceived as passivity. The environment we are raising our "strong female leaders" in is one that feels so toxic that the women who make it to the top of their field end up shedding a piece of compassion with it. It is very similar to The Devil Wears Prada; in order to stay on top Miranda literally has to throw everyone else in front of the bus. That shouldn't be the way it goes, but for some reason it ends up that way in many fields. In the situation of the writer's room, I don't know what could have been done differently except for an attitude change from the producer. With bullies, they usually know what they are doing so addressing then typically doesn't help. In creative fields, it is so important that people create an environment that fosters ideas and does not isolate people. Clearly, this situation was not one of those and maybe would be best to be discussed with someone higher up in the chain or with those in the room besides the producer.
"It's a man's world" and many women have been taught that in order to survive, you have to be one of the men. No, you have to be better than one of the men, but in their way. Determined, strong, relentless, selfish, loud, unapologetic, right. I have seen, and worked with, women who think like this and who, like this producer, have grown up in a time where the only way to get a seat at the table was to elbow those sitting next to you out of the way. I do find it interesting that the writer is clearly from a different generation (yes, I do think that has a big role to play in it) and upbringing, where she was taught the opposite: if something is wrong, it is probably your fault. When the producer's attitude towards our writer changes, she immediately does two things many women often do: she blames herself and looks for her own flaws, and then justifies this bad behavior by making excuses for her boss. It feels like in the world, women have only two choices: to be a subservient woman, or to be a "man." Curious that the traits of being ambitious, focused, and confident, are considered male qualities, while women must be considerate, reserved, and malleable. It's a dog-eat-dog world, and for women especially so. If you want to be the best, you eliminate your competition. Definitely one way to get to the top, but it will be awfully lonely up there.
This may be a controversial opinion and I don’t want to invalidate the author’s feelings, but I read the issue described in the article as more of a problem with delivery of criticism and an unhealthy workplace environment. In other words, I didn’t see gender as the driving force behind these negative experiences. Most people have experienced both supportive, constructive feedback and blunt, discouraging criticism. It’s my firm opinion that people on higher levels of a mentorship hierarchy (whether they are educators, advisors, bosses, etc.) should understand how to properly give criticism. After a recent psychology class, I think that the best way to provide criticism is to emphasize that the criticism would not be worthwhile if the recipient did not have the potential for improvement and success. What the author of this article describes is a work environment that are not conducive to transparent, genuine dialogue. I think that in creative fields especially, we benefit greatly from allowing both others and ourselves to communicate in constructive and thoughtful structures.
This was a really interesting read. The author's passage near the end, "All night I feel her malevolence seep quietly into my other projects. I begin to doubt my capabilities across the board of my creative life. A tiny hand grenade of malice has been thrown into the mental storeroom where stories half written, planned or completed sit in joyful anticipation of some kind of public life. I am shrinking," really stuck with me. Oftentimes malice and the self doubt that can emerge from such situations is all consuming and I really felt for the author at this moment. The abuse she suffered from this woman (and seemingly from her reports that others have too) is unacceptable. Constructive criticism is very important, but from this account, this woman was not offering her anything but disrespect and abuse. it also seems like this environment that the author is working in has no room for recourse or a way to address the issue and move the conversation forward. Having to work in a situation where "Hour by hour, the producer becomes more vocal in her irritation with me. What starts as frustration (which I automatically excuse as an appropriate response to my inadequacies) segues into visceral dislike," is unacceptable. I respect this woman for speaking out, and for sticking it out as long as she did.
One of the issues of having most workplaces and particularly most positions of power in most workplaces be male-dominated is that it creates the illusion that there is only room for one or two women at the top. I agree with Davine that it sounds like, from this article, the specific incident was not gender-motivated. Especially since she said other writers shared with her their stories of receiving similar toxic and overly-harsh treatment, and the original author made no indication that these writers were also all women. However, given the fact that the bias of the entire world is against women/other minorities in the workplace, I feel it is our duty to lift up and support each other instead of tearing each other down. This producer's actions of tearing down everyone else likely come from a place of insecurity and need to be seen as "tough" because the pressure she to not conform to feminine stereotypes as a woman in a position of power.
This was a fascinating read if for no other reason than it’s a great peek behind the curtain of how these brain storming sessions are supposed to work. But beyond that it’s an amazing example of what women do to each other in a system that I feel like younger generations are trying to break, but are grappling with very hard because it’s a hard system to break. The idea of having to be a cut-throat (pardon my language) bitch to rise to the top, where you can be a cold harpy with no focus outside of your career because that’s how you play in a “man’s world” is one that still lurks around every corner for successful career minded women. There is still a quiet churning in society that says we must be home-makers, not bread-winners, and so when you choose, as a woman, to be a bread-winner instead you have to prove why it’s a better option for you than home-maker. Why you’re being “selfish” and not having babies and supporting your husband. “I’m not like other girls” is a really stupid and terrible “manic-pixie dream girl” line that implies somehow I am BETTER than other girls. I’m not like other girls because I like football—I am here to tell you that if my mom and her friends are anything to judge by enough women like football that saying you’re “not like other girls” is dumb. Ally mentioned the idea of being better than a man to be taken seriously and I think that’s what this producer has done to herself. And it’s terrible and it sucks because it’s not productive for the room, clearly drives away otherwise good and competent creatives, and can put them in a negative spiral enough to keep them from doing the best work. We need to lift each other up and support each other. There’s enough places with only men at the top of the food chain, we have to stop assuming there’s only room for one token lady up there too, and start fighting for each other so that we can see at least a better balance, if not maybe one token dude. 😉
The title of this article is a little weird, “Women Who Bully Women.” This articles seems like it may tackle a large issue of the the mind of a female bully or at least give us a simple stat showing us the ratio of female bullying to male bullying or something of the sort, instead we are given a long (though interesting) personal account of a mean producer who just happens to be female. Though I am all for women standing up for their rights and this producers acts are in no way acceptable, it seems exaggerated to call this a gender issue. I may be wrong; I simply do not have enough information from this article to call it based on gender the writer simply added in a sentence or two at the end to flail and try and give the article a deeper meaning. What I do appreciate is that the author admits her own flawed mindset of workplace bullying. I think it's common to think the Mean Girls plot is only applicable to high school and below, and to look down upon those who stand out against workplace bullying as adults. I’m glad the author can now be a more supportive and understanding person, and share the things she has learned with us.
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