ChurchProduction.com: In this world we live in people have mastered the art of “passing the buck.” It is the ability to avoid any negative responsibility. Politicians are masters of this. It seems like no one wants to own up to anything. For decades therapists have placed all kinds of blame on their clients parents essentially saying, “It's OK you're so messed up, it's not your fault. It's your parent's fault!”
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This article applies to so much more than church.
What I take away from this is that as people and as people who work and collaborate with others we must take ownership in our work. I do not mean this in a conceited way, but rather in the humble. In theatre, especially live theatre, there are going to be mistakes. That's part of the fun. However, if no one can be held accountable for those mess-ups, how do we grow from them, and not make them in the future?
I think that listening to others is a great way of not making careless mistakes. Opening our ears and minds to those around us, and being aware of others practices and intentions could be helpful to ourselves in being collaborative and working as a team.
This year we are expected to work very closely with our class on projects. I look forward to our successes and failures. I also look forward to when we own up to those failures, and find ways to make positive of the situation.
The best people I've worked with are the ones that also own up to when they've messed up. Does that make them the best person? Not necessarily, but it definitely is a major factor in how you work in an environment like theater, where a lot of the work is done by hand. When taking ownership of your own shortcomings, you shouldn't be looked at as foolish or stupid, just that you're human. Yes, there comes a point where you constantly apologize for not checking your email, or not measuring that 2x4 for the fifth time in a call, but at that point, there's a bigger problem at play. Taking the blame for something that you messed up on should be viewed as a mature, responsible trait. At that point when you do fess up, the team can start working on solutions rather than throwing blame around, which just wastes time and energy when you could be fixing the problem that the original person created. You can't go back and time to fix the mistake; what's done is done. Let's move forward.
The title of this article is one of the main reasons I do not ever want to have children. They ruin your career for a good 10 years before they are an independent entity and then they nonstop argue with your authority. Or at least that is how I was a child, and I don’t want to raise anyone like myself because damn I was an annoying child and anyone who tries to take care of me knows: I hate people taking care of me. I’m what I like to call, “aggressively independent.”
Based on my own childhood, why would I waste ten years of my career taking care of something that doesn’t want to be taken care of? Ten years is a very long time, and in this industry which is constantly growing, ten years of inexperience can make the difference from a job and being unemployable. I would rather be rich and alone then poor and with a family. I did the poor with a family thing; it’s no fun.
I do not understand the need to place blame on others, especially from the point of view that circularly trying to place blame on others just eats up time and opportunities to fix the problem. From experience, there is also always dissatisfaction when the job lead or who ever is in charge just stops the conversation and says “it does not matter who’s fault it is, let’s just fix it”. Everyone tends to feel more resolution and clarity when someone owns up to a mistake and helps the facilitation of fixing it. Everyone has been in this position at some point, and at first you feel like you shouldn’t have to own up to it or that you’re afraid that everyone won’t like you or place further blame on you, but in reality, they all want the solution resolved just as much as you and will value the progress you are commencing.
When I attended church at closed YMCA every Sunday morning, our paster would always focus on this issue. "Owning Up To Your Mistakes" is easier said then done. The main is because most people are selfish and don't want to admit when they are wrong. Also, as children we are taught, unintentionally, to keep some information to ourself and one of those pieces is our mistakes. I remember my mother would always shun me and give me discipline whenever I did something wrong, so when I was caught doing something wrong later, I always thought that punishment would follow. Once I reached middle school, in the 8th grade I had to teach myself that I was mistaking punishment for consequences; still a negative connotation but not as harsh. Once I was technical director of my magnet program in high school I've learned that it is better to own up to your mistakes even if its followed my the consequences of your actions. Owning up to your mistakes is greatly appreciated and can help move a project forward and I also believe it can help one's confidence in themselves.
This is definitely an important concept to know outside of church. I find it particularly hard to follow the advice presented in the article. I do not always pass the buck, but I do try and blame it on outside and societal factors. "I didn't sleep enough" or "too many things have been going on." and that allows me to keep the blame off myself. I have absolutely terrible social anxiety and, because of that, it becomes very hard to be called out for a mistake. If I am to be pointed out for doing something wrong, it has to be done very carefully or I am likely to have a panic attack. This is definitely not a great attribute to have if you are in a profession such as this one. Things go wrong all the time and for the sake of efficiency, it is best to own up to mistakes in order to complete the task at hand. And although it is very important to not pass the buck, it is also important for the people who were not involved to be aware that it is very tough to own up. Many people, once somebody has admitted their fault, lingers on it and attempts to change that individual or make them completely aware of what they did wrong and that is definitely not how a person should respond to a situation like this. Owning up to mistakes is super important, but it is also important to respond to that properly.
One of the toughest things to do in today’s society is to own up to our mistakes. Failing in any way in today’s society is frowned upon everywhere. We are told to strive to perfection and when we mess up fix it right away or you’re fired. Owing up to our mistakes is important like this article says, it is something that can build trust. It seems farfetched and a little scary to think you might loose your job but telling others what you did wrong and apologizing and shows them that yes you are not perfect but you are trustworthy and willing to work on your mistakes. However, this is a hard skill to learn. Our guts instincts fight against being wrong and being flawed but the only way to grow and learn in this life is to make mistakes and learn from them. So make mistakes but own up to them so you can learn how not to make them again.
Okay, first of all, I have loved all the articles that come from ChurchProduction.com
Second, I totally agree because this is something I have been trying to work on. As the saying goes, we all have 20/20 hindsight, and often that means I am looking into how other people's actions impacted me. "Well if he hadn't-" and "If she had just-!" are just a few of the things I catch myself saying when things go wrong. This partly is due to the fact that, yeah, sometimes I am working with really unhelpful, careless people, and it reflects poorly on me. But it is also due to the fact that I often attribute negative experiences to external forces, whether those are people, or like Paula, things like my lack of sleep or busy schedule. We talked about this in tech management last week and it is a very real problem. This is not to say that I do not take responsibility for my actions. If something goes wrong that was totally my fault, I will absolutely, absolutely own up to it. My director in high school told me that one of the most important jobs of the stage manager is just to take the hit and say "It was my fault, I'll take care of it, let's move on," because everyone should trust that the things that happen are under my control, and if they go wrong they are my responsibility. Even if it was the stage right dresser who placed the lead in her dress from Act 3 instead of Act 2, "It was my fault, I'll take care of it, let's move on." I would, of course, be speaking with that dresser afterward, but at least there is always someone to take the responsibility and get it fixed. Some may agree with this, some may not, but I think it is important to take responsibility for anything and everything you might have been able to control.
Owning up to when you have done wrong will always help you in the long run. Sure it hurts to know you are the problem child of the situation, but it always shows a sense of responsibility, maturity, and leadership. Like the article stated it also helps to establish trust between you and who you are working with because it shows that in the future they can trust your word if something goes wrong and you say it wasn’t you. It also shows a willingness to do the right thing and help start the process of moving forward rather than going back and forth not wanting to take the fault only making the consequences bigger. By stepping up and taking the blame, it shows a sense of maturity because as a child we naively view the worst is going to happen to us if we admit we did something wrong and would rather lie and pretend we didn’t do it even when we are caught red handed because that is the nature of children. It can only help when you own up to mistakes as soon as they happen.
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