When you’re at work and your client or boss asks a question, however, it’s not always smart to change the subject and promote your own agenda. Questions need to be addressed.
Friday, October 28, 2016
How To Successfully Respond To A Question You Really Don't Want To Answer
When you’re at work and your client or boss asks a question, however, it’s not always smart to change the subject and promote your own agenda. Questions need to be addressed.
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Well I want to open with how hilarious it is that in an article having nothing to do with Donald Trump the writer manages to bash him in the first few sentences seamlessly and brilliantly. I have been asked a fair share of questions that I didn't want to answer and employing these techniques may have gotten me out of some sticky situations a little better than I did without this advice. Everyone has questions that they don't want to answer and that is a part of life, there are things about us all that we would rather not talk about or that we don't have a good answer prepared for, but because the world is horrible sometimes you always get asked that question. I think the most useful part of this article is the concept of rephrasing to give you time and to point the question in the direction that you want. By taking 20 seconds to rephrase you can get rid of all of the negative language that the interviewer may have presented when asking the question, but you can also steer the question away from part of it that you don't want to answer more than others. Overall this was a pretty helpful article, I don't know that I had any revelations but I also thought about things in a different way and hopefully I use some of these tactic the next time someone asks me a question I don't want to answer.
I found this article extremely interesting because of its subject. In addition to that I like how it began with a brief discussion of the presidential debates. It's incredible how much this year's presidential election has gotten people speaking up. I have never felt more politically invested until this year when I realized the power of the government is truly in our hands. Anyways, after the intro the article goes on to talk about different methods of avoiding tough questions. I definitely believe this is an often asked question, but a bit dark in my opinion. It seemed to me to imply some sort of secret to be hidden. Besides that I thought the advice was very well thought out .It also is apparent now how many people avoid questions when we don't notice. It seems that that there are many ways to appropriately answer tough question in a multitude of situations. I think these ideas will come in handy while learning how to become a more fluid and avid public speaker.
This is one of the more useful lists that I’ve read in a long time, and certainly contains advice on how to navigate a potentially tricky situation. It’s the type of situation that it’s almost impossible to avoid, because it’s not always (but often can be) a situation that results as a direct consequence of your own actions, rather the collective actions of those around you. And the article is very correct in stating that the route to take should not look identical to a political candidate answering the question they wished they were asked instead of the one they were actually asked, that helps absolutely nobody in getting to the root of an issue in a polite and productive manor and will probably piss more than a few people off. I think an important addition to this list is to, if possible, establish a relationship of trust between yourself and the people who would most likely ask you these questions. That way, everyone understands the purpose of the question, and is able to navigate the response a bit better.
I was intrigued from the first few lines of this article, mainly the stance the author took of “not to dodge, but rather to satisfy the questioner”. This seems like such a simple rule, but when you get to the nitty gritty of it satisfying the questioner can be a lot harder than originally thought. However, after reading through each of the points it seems like each of them are just dodging techniques. Advice like “"You can say, ‘I appreciate that this is of interest, right now. Let’s focus on this part,’" he says. "Briefly answering part of the question may be enough to assuage and satisfy them." Yes, that satisfies the questioner, maybe but at the end of the day you never answered the question at all. I feel like these techniques are just delaying techniques instead of firm ways to answer questions that you don’t want to or can’t.
This article starts off by explaining a common mistake that people make when they don't want to answer a question that is asked of them. A lot of people completely avoid the question and try to change the subject. In my opinion, all this does is make the person look more suspicious of the question and makes me assume the worst answer possible is the right answer. I think the advice that this article gives about always trying to satisfy the person who asked the question is a great way to look at the situation. I thought the advice of never to restate the negative tone or diction in a question was something that I had never thought of doing before but I can see now is very beneficial to the situation. Also, the overall idea of giving focus to the person asking the question and trying to include the audience seem like very helpful tips when answering tough questions.
Diversion and postponement are my two favorite tactics when I am working on uncertain ground in a line of questioning. I prefer postponement as if feels like the more honest of the two. Better to be honest upfront than to have someone call you out for your topic changing tactic. I find people also generally respond better to postponement when there is - as the article so rightly and usefully points out - a time frame within which one may expect a response. I have found people willing to wait for a more accurate response in my experience, as long as it is not an indefinite wait.
Addressing each part of the question is also very viable I find. As a rule of thumb, most people just want to be heard. At least acknowledging all aspects of their question assuages many, and allows for an additional of further technique to be used.
With the aggravating but intriguing nature of the current presidential election, this article does a good job of harvesting that interest through addressing/referring to the presidential election to push forward the main points of the article. Though, some of the article’s points are pretty confusing/not explained very well. I will go through all of the points here:
1. Make Sure You Understand the Question: how do you do this? I understand that clarification is a good idea when it comes to questions, but the article never tells you if you should explicitly ask for clarification or think on the question itself on your own.
2. Take Time to Respond: I don’t actually have any complaints about this point. I think it is a fantastic point. I do have an additional piece of advice, though: when you are taking your time to respond, do not feel like you need to fill the silence with filler words like “uh” or “like.” Simply having a silent break is not a bad thing and will definitely be stronger than holding out an “uhh” for a few seconds.
3. Answer Part of the Question: this is a very interesting point. I really like the way the response is worded and I agree with the strategic effectiveness this response method has.
4. Postpone Your Answer: this is another good strategy to have when it comes to responding to questions. But, hopefully the answering party will eventually get back to responding to the question, even if it is on a later date (though I know this does not usually happen).
5. Turn Around the Pronouns: I actually really like talking to myself or relating myself to my answers because it makes my responses more human. However, relating other people is also a very good idea based on a situational basis (you obviously cannot assume anything about a person you don’t know).
6. Divert the Question: while “bridging” seems like an odd term for acknowledging a point and then completely changing the subject, I have seen this done many times, especially by one orang oompa-loompa whom I will not name for the sake of anonymity. But, note: we will destroy ISIS.
7. Give the Asker Some Control: I really like this piece of advice. It allows the answerer to address touchy topics while also showing empathy and understanding.
8. Watch Your Tone: this is a better response than interrupting and shouting “wrong”, that’s for sure.
9. And Watch Your Body Language: this is definitely a good point (though I struggle heavily to follow it because all I do is fidget). No one wants to watch a speaker pace back and forth and/or make unnecessary body gestures.
I think this article is one of those articles which is useful to read and hold onto the gist of, but should not be held as law. I think that some of the concepts could be useful, but I question the details included in the article. For example, I think body language is important, but any intelligent person asking questions will notice if you straight up avoid part of a question. I also want to know what application the “Turn Around the Pronouns” section is supposed to be for. Is it for politicians? Also, one should not need to be told to “Watch your Tone” because that should be evidently obvious when discussing. I think the main issue with the article is that it is trying to be applicable to a large group of people in many different situations, but depending on who and where you and the other person are, the correct ways to navigate conversations vary extremely.
I agree that this is an interesting and useful article, but not one that should be held as law. I like this article as a reminder of options that one has when responding to questions. This is a list that I could see myself reading right before a review or meeting. As a director I could see reading this list particularly useful before a meeting with a Producer or even a designer. Directors can tend to get very protective, and sometimes emotional about their projects (as all artists do). Reading this would put These options in my head so that I wouldn't lose my cool. I am particularly interesting in the "bridging" option. I am curious how to construct an effective bridge answer that does not come off in a defensive tone.
I understand were the author is coming from, however I do not think this always works. Most times after the debate we say that a lot of the questions did not get answered. This is very frustrating. On the other side, in some cases it could work. If you have a meeting with someone and you did not prepare fully, this list will help with that. Or when in a meeting with a bunch of people and when you want to get your point across this is a good tactic to use. This should be used in certain sutations and not up hold every time.
I’m so glad that someone acknowledged this. I find it so difficult at times to come up with answers to questions I’ve been avoiding. I’ve always kind of theorized that I should do exactly what the points of this article suggests. Usually when I present and am asked any question I try to see what that question is really asking me- sometimes what the interviewer says isn’t exactly what they or you mean. I also always try to take some time to form my response before responding to make sure that I am not saying anything that I don’t mean. I agree with the point of watching your tone. It is so important not to be harsh or too timid when responding. If I don’t know an answer or simply don’t want to say the answer I usually say something along the lines of- “That’s an interesting question/ observation- I don’t currently know the answer but I’ll get back to you on that” this usually moves things along.
Questions can be very tricky when you do not really know the answer or you do not want to answer the question at all. A lot of people feel the pressure to answer the question right away even when they have not crafted the best response in their mind. It would be better to take a minute and actually think about your response and just as equally important, how you are going to say this response. Not understanding the question can be a huge fault in giving a good response because you might end up giving a very long winded answer that you worked hard to think of, and then it ends up not actually answering their question at all. If you do not understand what they are asking you should definitely try and clarify before you go through all the trouble of answering the question. I liked the point about only answering part of the question because the person could still be slightly satisfied by your answer and that would give you more time to find out the full answer for them or they will not realize you did not answer all parts of their question.
I found this article to be useful and applicable. I really like how the first piece of advice out of the nine is to make sure you understand the question. Even though this may seem obvious, it's very easy to assume what someone is asking you, and when you give an answer that's not what they're asking about, it shows that you're not a good listener and you only care about what you want others to know about you. Another one I found valuable is taking time to respond. I've had times when I got caught off guard by a question, and instead of taking a little thinking time, I just rambled in hopes of the questioner not noticing that I was caught off guard or don't have an answer prepared - but rambling did exactly that. Taking time to think before answering a question actually shows that you are thoughtful and composed. I'm not exactly sure about some of the other advice, but this article does contain useful information if you know when use what.
This is a great article for learning to better manipulate a situation if you need it. I think it is interesting how so, so, so many professionals can tell Donald Trump how to better appeal to the masses, how to be a better politician, and how to bullshit better but he simply refuses to do it. Rather, and somehow (quite amazingly, if I may add) people still follow his unusual rhetoric of "I am the greatest" and that's all they need to hear for him to have their vote. I'm sure in a few years we'll see lots of books that analyze his political style and speech to better understand how it was effective in persuading. It certainly will be interesting. More over, I think that we should do psychological case studies into the people he is managing to brain wash into voting in his favor. Then again, we're stuck between the "lesser" of two evils now anyways. The article has a lot of great helpful tips for when you're wanting to be convincing in an argument. I know that when I have a discussion with others, one of the most important things I look for is body language because it can be pretty easy to read what people are thinking. The article doesn't emphasize this as much, but I think the ability to read others body language can be the most helpful of all of those tips.
It's amazing to me that all of these things seem to come naturally. Not that we intuitively know the wording to use, but a lot of these tactics sort of become instinct when we are put in a tough situation. Just commenting on the writing of the article itself, I like how the author uses ambiguous/neutral wording when describing a situation. They are practicing what they preach. For example, they keep using the term "difficult question" but by that they allude to a question that is emotionally charged, crosses the line, and/or was at the fault of the asker of said question. They also talk about turning the question on the asker to see where they're coming from but really this is just a way to subtly lay the blame for a bad question on the asker rather than bad answer on yourself.
I think too many people are too quick to answer a question they don't know, so having them understand the question before hand is unfortunately very good advice. A lot of people, myself included sometimes, feel the need to answer a question so they don't look stupid or uninformed, so adding even a wrong opinion will make it look like you tried. It's still annoying though for the person asking the question.
Another thing I found interesting was how so many people instinctively react the same way when confronted with an awkward situation - the fact that there's almost a universal code you could read from your friends interaction or something, where she will act almost the exact same way as you would, is pretty bizarre. I guess being good with people is an important skill that way, as some people immediately pick up on these social cues, where others do not. I think this is a good article for a SM to read, as they can remember these tactics once someone tries to pull some stuff about not finishing their work or something with them.
I think that the key to answering uncomfortable questions to try and detach the emotional investment from the question. Most of the time these questions are difficult because you have some sort of emotional tie to the answer that you don’t want the other person to know about. Like for example if someone asks you about a task that is stressing you out but you want them to think you have everything perfectly under control. Now, I think the best way to proceed is to acknowledge the emotional baggage either or both of you have tied to the issue and then go from there. I think some of the examples the author gave that have more to do with diverting the question have the danger of sounding really condescending, like ‘It’s interesting that you think that.’ I think the best strategy to use when dealing with uncomfortable questions is to feel out an appropriate balance between brutally honest and diplomatically phrased.
I appreciate the fact that the author opened with a bit of humor that (almost) anyone could latch on to. This also Madeline that the sample text on blogs and the company's main page was humorous but still described the purpose of the article without alienating anyone. And to be honest, both political parties did a fair bit of side-swiping in the current election period, so I would say it was mostly bipartisan despite the political references. I have to admit that we use a lot of these tactics fairly naturally in the theatre world. When reflecting back on production meetings and some artistic meetings, this use of rhetoric helps guide the conversation to a positive, solution-driven discussion rather than conflict-driven discussion. Postponing your answer and taking time to respond can be tricky in the artistic world though. Because most people are time-sensitive in this environment, saying that you do not know the answer (postponing) or finding a way to think through your response before doing so might mean that someone else responds before you have the opportunity to do so or that the deadline for making a decision is passed and you end up with an alternative you do not like. I think the most beneficial way to counteract that is to admit you are thinking though the question out loud and may need additional time to answer followed by when you will have the answer this ensures that people know you will follow-up (or that they can follow-up with you) once you have had time to process.
This article is so extremely relevant, especially with the political issues that we face and how heated they then to be. By answering a political question that your boss asks, you may be setting yourself up for failure. What I try to do when I don't know how to answer a question is take time, lie number 2 in the article suggests. Not only does it give you time to think about what you are going to say, it also the questioner that you may not be fully comfortable with the topic at hand. This will, hopefully, make them more sympathetic when hearing what you have to say. I do disagree with the part where it says you should always answer the question to the best of your abilities; sometimes it is perfectly okay to not want to answer the question. In work settings, I often believe that it is okay to keep your personal views to yourself. If your boss asks you a question regarding something that pertains to your job, I do believe that you should always answer. But your political, or life, views should never feel pressured out of a person.
I felt this article did a good job at assessing the different angles that you can look at answering uncomfortable or difficult questions. I think the first point of clarification is a big one – I have on several instances been surprised by a question but then realized I was misinterpreting what the other person was actually asking. Asking for clarification not only clears that up, but also gives more time to think about one’s response. I think two other points – answering part of the question or postponing your answer to a question are two other good strategies because they still get the question answered but do so in a way that works for you. I also think that point 7 is crucial – providing more information to the question asker can really help smooth things out. Sometimes people are freaking out about something, and you just have to explain what is actually going on and they realize that the situation isn’t so dire. The one thing I wish this article had done was maybe provide some example scenarios to help explain their strategies. I also find it interesting how many comments this article garnered – I guess it really shows that everyone gets asked questions that they don’t want to answer!
I appreciate the author's effort in sharing some answering techniques when facing a question that you don't really want to respond to. The situations that the article discuss are really common in our work and life - we are constantly asked for answers that we don't actually have right away or faced with questions that make us uncomfortable. Shutting down the conversation completely is certainly not always the optimal option to do. Diverting the topic sometime seems more obvious than you'd have thought. My personal favorite is to confess that I don't have enough information or resources at the time but promise to get back to the asker as soon as I know more about it. It plays well most of the time but sometimes it makes me seem incapable or sometimes people are dealing with emergencies and i simply can't go away and come back. The answering strategies in the article are useful but I believe we should employ them wisely. Not all uncomfortable questions should be dodged and sometimes you must answer on the spot as much as you can. As a manager, circumventing or postponing are not always for the best outcome but I should definitely practices some of the techniques enough to know when to use them.
This is an interesting article, and makes a lot of good points. Depending on the situation, I think the last two points are the most important. Body language and tone can be the first two indicators of an uncomfortable question. I know that I have seen it and been subject to these two items. Diverting the question or answering parts of questions can be valuable tools, especially on an interview. One lesson that I think is especially important is to make sure that you know the question, and that if you don’t know the answer – admit it. I have gotten myself into some hot water by answering questions that I didn’t know the answers to. Some of the other tips are basic and seem to repeat each other. It can be difficult to answer questions under pressure, on an interview, or when things are going wrong, but these tips can help keep the focus on the important things.
We are all asked questions that we would rather not respond to all the time? And why should we have to? I understand that sometimes especially in the workplace uncomfortable questions or problematic questions can be brought up a lot, and many do require answers for people to get their job done. This article, I feel, does a great job of reminding us of the power of language: in all forms. First, turning the question with positive phrasing is important. People like positive ideas, and people. I feel approaching any situation with genuine positivity impacts the situation greatly. I also believe that body language and delivery of your response to ones question is vital to how it is perceived. Saying something with confidence both in your voice and in your body gives what you are saying power. It also makes people play attention more to what you are saying. Sometimes body language and tone are so important that people only focus on that and not content. (Also, cheers to the subtle dig at Trump.)
The reference to the presidential debates at the beginning, while funny, made an interesting point about the question presented in the article. While it is clear that the politicians are able to avoid questions that they do not want to answer, it is also unsettlingly clear that the an overwhelmingly large amount of people do not trust these politicians and that the tools they are using are not successful in terms of developing long-term relationships with the people who are asking the questions. The points made in this article are pretty straightforward and obvious for the most part, but there are a few points that were especially interesting. For example, I think that changing the topic of conversation to be focused on the asker can do a lot to relieve the pressure of answering so that conversation is not one-sided. On a somewhat unrelated note, the fact that this question is presented at all reveals a frightening problem within our society. It seems that we put more effort into trying to avoid answering questions than we do actually attempting to answer the questions. If we could create a more comfortable environment in which people are comfortable asking and answering difficult questions, then we could probably work towards solutions for our many societal problems.
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