Saturday, October 20, 2012
20 Practical Soft Skills Everyone Should Learn
lifehack.org: Every office, every building, everywhere you go, you see people who are just difficult to get on with. They can be obnoxious, rude, inconsiderate, or just plain clumsy. They may even be brilliant at what they do, but you just know that when it comes to socializing and interacting with people. They are terrible at it and you usually avoid these people whenever possible. Emotional intelligence, social graces, friendliness are just some of the things these people lack.
These things are known as “soft skills” and we all need them, otherwise we could end up as social outcasts or as ‘that weird guy’ who nobody wants to deal with.
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17 comments:
This is a VERY valuable article. I suggest that every who has the chance should read it. Along with the many important "skills" that it tells a reader to learn, it also mentions the "elevator pitch" which I just read about in another article. I really like what this article talks about. It points out skills like "don't babble" which is something that often happens in conversations. I still think the most valuable "skill" for me to learn at the moment is the elevator pitch. This will help me sell myself in the future Again I say...Read this if you can!
This article is extremely important for anyone in our business and not limited to just our industry. It speaks about making introductions and presenting yourself in multiple situations: conversation, email, etc. I know for a fact if someone sent me an essay in email form I would be very much inclined to delete the email without ever reading it. I think it is also noteworthy how much the article emphasized a conversation being a mutual thing and not a one sided activity. I think all of these things are extremely important save the making quick healthy snacks? (seemed somewhat out of place) Definitely something one needs to learn to function in any matter of business.
10 and 18!!!! Dont talk loudly on your cell phones in public. I think it is the rudest thing. I understand if you have to make a call or just want to talk to someone but you can do it at a normal volume. 18! Don't babble. My family is notorious for this. Because I was raised in a family that talked forever, I'm extremely aware of when I begin to babble. These two things can ruin a first impression, and in our industry, first impressions can ruin a career.
I am so perplexed by this article. Articles just like this pop up all the time and I have no idea why. This article could easily be renamed "20 Things You Should Be Mortally Embarrassed About If You Don't Already Know." I would like to know who on earth reads this article and goes "Oh, gee, I never thought of that." Who is this informing or helping? I'm upset that anyone felt the need to write it in the first place. That certainly doesn't say anything positive about our society.
This is a nice list effectively summarizing all of the advice your parents ever told you. I find number fifteen one of the more interesting points on this list because of its emphasis on empathy. In the arts probably more than any other career, you are perpetually surrounded by people with atypical working styles, expectations, and methods of communication. It is easy to grow impatient with people that you can’t seem to see eye to eye with. In order to ease this impatience, this article suggests remembering the individual tendencies and eccentricities of people you work with. This can make giving people a break easier by remembering that their obnoxious tendencies are not intentional, they are simply a part of who they are. Eccentricity runs rampant in the theatre world, and if you are to go anywhere at all, you will have to learn to put up with it.
I agree wholeheartedly with every one of these twenty suggestions. I agree with Maggie in the fact that this summarizes everything your parents should have taught you, but not everyone was raised the same, so it's nice to have a consolidated list together. I am now imagining a world in which absolutely every person followed all 20 of these suggestions, and it seems very odd to me, simply because of the fact that no one is ever going to be perfect, which is part of what makes our society so interesting. Can you imagine a society in which everyone felt socially required to follow number 7? The number of "No, you first"s that would ensue would be so inefficient! I do think we could use a good dose of mutual respect among our peers. I find the wording of number 2 particularly interesting - I think the author means physical doors as well as opportunities. What do you think?
I've seen lists like this one in the past, but this one is short and quickly summarizes the key points in a manner that is all inclusive. Far to often I have read articles like this and have soon become bored with the points, because they illustrate them individually with example after example. The short sentences sumamrized the import goals and allowsed for us to pull out our own examples of when these were applicable. There was not one thing on that list that I felt shouldn't be on there. I thank goodness that my parents have instilled these qualities in me since a young age. But that being said, I still am by no means perfect. I work hard everyday to try and make these quaities second nature. (1)
Tips 8-14 are particularly useful. Many of these tips discuss the healthy balance of living in a professional world with technology. Emails and cell phone use are an integral part of our lives, so it is important to know how to use them most effectively. 12-14 are less obvious but equally important. People often don't take the time to include new people in on conversations, or don't see the relation between how they are dressing and how they are perceived, and most importantly, how this affects the way they act, work, and interact with others. It is good to see all of these points in a concise list which should act as a good reminder to people. I agree with those above me who question the validity of this article: who hasn't thought of these? But I question that line of thinking, since I can list numerous people, including myself, who do not practice all of these skills.
All twenty of theses are really reminders of things that we should practice daily until they simply become second nature to us. I know I have to work on quite a few of these, i know I've definitely gotten better at most of them as I've gotten older, but I still need to remind my self to work on them. My dad recently sent me a list similar to this to help me get a good start at college and he was saying he too has to work on his "soft skills" though he didn't call them that. I think these skills are applicable in every aspect of life, not just work or school. Sometimes we get so caught up in our busy lives trying to get everything done that we need to do for us, we forget how our rushing around with out taking time to be considerate can really effect the lives of those around us, but its little things like these "soft skills" that make life, and the relationships we make along the just that much better.
Pretty good tips. They seems obvious, but not everybody knows them. Especially at a place like CMU, even school of Drama, where people get lost in being "smart enough" or "good enough." these concerns can often detract from one's interpersonal skills. Yes, the work we do is important - but at what cost? The balance is never really emphasized, if you do your work well then you will slip through the claws of academic actions regardless of how you present yourself. So then how do we learn? For some, it's inherent. For others, it's not. I think many feel lost once they are no longer students, and that much more could be done to ease the transition into non-academic life for those who need it.
Oh man, do people need to learn these skills! People at CMU are generally fairly good at this, at least in purnell and the CFA building, how ever I have seen and taken a part in countless times where people directly a head of me havent held the door open or even tried. Especially when im holding things and my hands are full and they see me yet they still just keep walking. People on their cell phones i see all of the time talking loudly in inappropriate places. The people may be the best at what they do but if they dont have the correct social skills they will neve get jobs, or will never be able to hold a job for very long. So all of there education and tallent will just go to waste.
This article is like the 20 commandments of social etiquette. If we all followed these "rules" or "skills" we would all be much happier because there would be so much less to be irritated about! This article is basically saying to treat people how you want to be treated, be as considerate as you want others to be, show kindness and respect at all times, be morally and ethically inclined and see the good in every situation. I think I actually do strive to be this way........I don't aways succeed, but these thoughts and idea do travel around in my head on a daily basis. It is definitely less stressful to be positive. I liked this article. I know we should already know these things and that they should be part of our subconscious, but we aren't perfect people. To be reminded of the way we should act and treat each other is not a bad thing.
This article reminds the reader of some wonderful life skills. Remember people, open door for people, be a good friend, listen, be hospitable, be polite, (Skip 8) (Skip 9), send thank you notes, be polite again, don’t babble, be patience, don’t argue, be polite. Except for 8 and 9, (the rules on e-mails and tipping) these were all things that either my mother taught me OR I learned in Sunday School. These are things that any good young Mormon knows. It is a good reminder but also a sad day when basic manners are referred to as “The soft skills you need to get ahead in the office environment”.
I definitely agree with Dale. With a few exceptions (like the tipping tip, which to me, kind of sounds a little bit douche-y, like you're the millionaire who casually hides a $100 bill in your hand and passes it off in a handshake, but anyway...), there are no revelations here. This article is all about common courtesies and respectful behavior towards other people.
It's a little disconcerting that it's presented as a way for you to "get ahead in the office environment", rather than as a way to "become a better person". I think it speaks to what our culture has become: we're work obsessed, and need everything to somehow relate to how we can get ahead in our jobs. Sure these things will help you get along better with people and impress your bosses, but this article could have been entitled ANYTHING: "Things Your Parents Should Teach You," "How To Impress Your Date," "How to Defeat your Enemy," "How to Win an Election," "How to Not Be Annoying." The list is kind of endless.
I'm printing this list out right now. I think that these 20 skills are very important and that I can personally work on every single one of them. I know that in theatre we spend possibly unhealthy amounts of time with the same few people and that this can lead to relationships being stressed. This just makes soft skills like holding the door open all the more important. Something that the list does not bring up is the idea that if you see other people around you not following these rules it's often important and helpful to the relationship you have with the person to try and not hold it agents the person. After all everyone needs to work on their soft skills and without understanding that everyone else is struggling with that too you won't be able to make friends and work well with others.
It's funny to me that what our grandparents would have called "common courtesies" are now "skills" to be honed. But still, this list is valuable if for nothing other than stating in as many ways as possible what I think we all should know: Respect One Another. This can be hard at times, especially in our business where people are passionate about what they do, emotions can run high, and schedules can be demanding. But the thing about being respectful of the people you work with is it makes the work so much easier. While it may seem like extra effort to hold the door open for someone (or clean up after yourself in the shop), small things like that, and in general an attentiveness to the needs of others, not just oneself, makes less work for everyone in the long run. It turns out, one's own happiness at work is directly related to the happiness of your colleagues. Also, for further discussion, brought up in a religious household, I was forced to learn the Seven Virtues at a young age (the balance of the Seven Deadly Sins, which are what most folks hear about). I by no means am capable of living up to them every day, but I keep a copy of the list on my desk and it helps I think to remember them occasionally. They are:
Chastity
Temperance
Charity
Diligence
Patience
Kindness
Humility
This is actually pretty interesting. None of these ideas is revolutionary at all, but compiled together, they make a nice list. I see this as a gentle reminder to be polite. It's easy to talk too loud on your cell phone if you're not thinking about it, or to forget to introduce too people, but these are all things we already know we should do. Looking through this list, it's mainly manners things. I think "soft skills" is stretching it a bit.
Being a better listener is a huge one. It's something we hear over and over, and are tired of hearing, but for good reason: it continues to be a problem.
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