Women in Leadership | The Guardian: US actress Jennifer Lawrence penned an insightful essay this week which included her thoughts as to why she was paid less than her American Hustle co-stars. What stood out was that she knows she didn’t negotiate as hard as she could for fear of being labelled difficult or unlikeable, fears that her well-paid male co-stars clearly did not suffer from.
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It is always heartening to read an article discussing the practicalities of negotiation, particularly when it acknowledges the patriarchal nature of the system of negotiation. In this situation, it is incredibly important to remember what this article discusses in its second point: we need to challenge it. The system will not change if employees do not ask for more, definitely, but it will also not change if employers aren't being asked to hold themselves accountable for it. Because money in this situation, is in the hands of the employer, their decision will ultimately be clouded by trying to keep and maintain as much of that money as they can, so in this particular run-in with the patriarchy, it does appear that the vast majority of the challenge falls on the oppressed party, which I hate to acknowledge, because they have enough to worry about.
The social issue is more important, for the fact that the reason cited in the article about being seen as difficult is true, we need check ourselves. Clearly no one knows the solution. The only thing that I can think of is to encourage a generation of people to behave in the way that they ought to, and then when anyone of the older generation seems to not agree, they will fall out of power, because they will be unable to keep their work young. Honestly, I'm not sure what the answer is, but we need to make the solution more important than the money.
I was once asked by a friend why women don’t try to negotiate as much as men and the study done here at Carnegie Mellon just confirms my answer. Women are punished for wanting more, by both men AND women. Why can’t women look out for each other. It goes back to childhood. Women are discouraged from being bossy and demanding. We are encouraged to settle on what we are given because even that is a privilege. I found this article empowering and had some really great points. I also feel like it’s harder to negotiate in theatre. I always figure that the theatre is offering me the maximum that they can afford to pay me. I think it’s also harder to negotiate in my field specifically because there are far more women than men working in costume studios. I think the pay difference is seen when comparing different departments. That begins a whole other debate.
The segment about aiming high really resonated for me in this article -- that, for the most part, women value themselves as costing less or being less than what men value themselves as. There's such an interesting and terrifying psychology to self-esteem, which I think goes all the way back to childhood and adolescent development. A study came out a few years ago that tried to understand why not as many women went into the STEM careers as men did. Their findings from the study concluded that women, because of a general lack of support or recognition in the STEM career areas, would drop out of college classes or switch their majors to English or History after a series of bad or lacking grades. Men, having the understanding that failing a few classes wouldn't mean failing in their jobs, continued in their major paths and went on to STEM careers. That confidence, that self-value, is exactly what we need to instill in young women who are trying to forge their own careers. I certainly don't know how to value my own work, and that is something I have to work on -- that I cannot be taken advantage of in regards to my talents, and that I should not stand by and let myself not negotiate the monetary side of my profession and allow my hard work to be overshadowed by others.
As hard as it is to read, I’m glad that this study was conducted and that the subconscious sexism in the business industry, specifically when people are making demands. Perhaps this articles and ones like it will cause both men and women both to think twice before immediately turning women down. It could cause them to think, what would I award to a male with her skill level? Perhaps this is wishful thinking, but this is what needs to happen. Even if as women we come together to make demands unapologetically, if higher ups don’t recognize the clear stigma they’ve attached to women, they will continue to just attach the “angry women” stereotype to women as a whole. What needed to be done with this study is broken down the stats within the different women of color. Though the statement that women to treat women poorly seems inclusive, as a woman of color and as a daughter to a woman in the corporate business, even women who consider themselves to be progressive will look at women of color differently then one that resembles them. It all has to be acknowledge for true progressive to come.
So, women are "just as likely to penalize assertive women as men." Does this surprise me? No. Although modern pop feminism will have us all believe that all women are sisters, privy to spontaneous kum-ba-yah moments brought on solely by our shared gender identities, the truth is that women are just as unused to the notion of an assertive woman as men are. As the article points out, challenging this unfair penalization of women with good intentions must stop, and is the responsibility of both men and women, and both must both first recognize, then rectify, these slights.
Th article also points out the responsibility of the negotiator in researching the situation that they will be negotiating. While I doubt that film company execs would have freely handed Jennifer Lawrence their payroll before whichever meeting decided this fiasco, I do believe that Lawrence's own fear of being labeled could have stopped her from doing even tentative research on male compensation for comparable roles.
None of this is meant as a critique. Lawrence did what she saw a reasonable, and later came to realize to what degree that was not the case. Regrettable, yes, but unfortunately understandable.
I find the perspective of this article really interesting. Especially the fact that it points out the hardest part of negotiating is often not that the people you are negotiating with are unwilling to cooperate but your own internal feelings. I remember back in eleventh grade when I was struggling with some personal issues and I needed to negotiate with my teachers for my work schedule. Whenever I asked a teacher for help, or an extension, they were perfectly willing to work with me, but often I didn’t talk to them because I felt that asking for help would make me appear incapable, or lazy. It was not that they were not willing to work with me but that I was worried about how those I was negotiating with perceived me. As a woman we often feel that we have to be much more concerned with other's perception of us than men would ever have to be, because as this article points out both men and women view women who are assertive in negotiation negatively.
The title of this article threw me off. I commented on that article that Jennifer Lawrence wrote and I have to say, these are the things she wishes she'd known as well. Her biggest criticism is the fact that each of these points are true these days and that she should have fought against the norm, and stood up for herself. It doesn't surprise me at all that women are also likely to penalize other women for being assertive. As someone with a feisty family of females I've seen people shy away from our "stand up for myself" attitude towards the world and nothing makes me angrier than when another woman tries to push one of us back down. It's disheartening to say the very least. I think this article is a much more technical example of exactly what Jennifer Lawrence was saying in her essay.
I really like this article because it's something that a lot of women have to realize and utilize in order to succeed. In negotiation, women are not always taken seriously. Whenever women have a problem with anything, it just must be "that time of the month" or something like that. By preparing statistics and data that cannot be disputed, it not only shows dedication and organization, but also obviously backs up the point with factual evidence. As the article points out, women also need to challenge the person with whom they are negotiating. They are often passed off as meek and mild in an attempt to not seem "bitchy," but a strong and resilient attitude is essential to win any negotiation. Finally, the article discusses the necessity of high goals. People always say shoot for the stars. In the case of negotiation, this is absolutely a must. By aiming higher than what you actually want, you have a lot of room to bargain down your price, and there is always the possibility that you will get more than what you want.
This is a technical article that every person should read about negotiation, male or female. I have been following this story since Jennifer Lawrence’s article from when it started popping up on news feeds, and I have been watching my own behavior since I read Jennifer Lawrence’s story about her own. I fail to negotiate early and often because I do not want to deal with the hassle of it, and I do not want to make things difficult for people. This article describes actionable items to prevent those feels from making a negotiation fail. I have found myself using tactics in negotiations more frequently to achieve better results, not just about salary, but in general.
I also think that another point in negotiation is knowing when you are willing to walk away from the negotiation if your conditions are not met and then actually being willing to walk away. If the threat of leaving is empty, the person you are negotiating with will know it.
I wish this article was longer, because I think that the technical components of a negotiation are very interesting. I agree wholeheartedly with the point about being very prepared; in our Negotiation & Conflict Management class, we prepared for an in-class negotiation in our groups beforehand, and the negotiations that were the most useful and had a strong back-and-forth were the ones for which we had a lot of facts and figures to deal with. We found that the less we knew or decided about our scenarios, the least effective the negotiation was, and we'd get muddled in positions rather than actual points of discussion. The point about challenging men and women's tendency to penalize women who are hard negotiators is also critical, and I think that it extends to much more than negotiation. Business is definitely one area where it is important for everyone to examine their biases, which are most likely unconscious, and rectify attitudes and opinions if need be.
I think this article is definitely very useful and offers practical advice that are even applicable for smaller negotiations in daily life. For example, aiming high (or in some cases such as bargaining, aiming low) is a very common strategy that we can use. I've never thought about actually doing solid research before negotiating, but that can significantly back up one's argument and let the counterpart know that you're to be taken seriously. Often times, I think persistence is also a huge part of it. Personally, I'd rather get what I deserve and have them think that I'm "whiny" rather than not getting what I deserve and have them think nothing much of me. Other's opinions of you does matter, but depending on the situation it can be low on the priority list. I'm glad to see that people are responding in a positive way to Jennifer Lawrence's essay.
It is soooo easy to label a woman who not even just negotiates, but brings up any issue in the workplace as a bitch. That goes for women doing the labeling, too. I have often times brought up an issue on crew or at work and been ignored, and when a male friend brings it up, it is acknowledged. Because of this constantly happening to women, it is started to be reflected in themselves. They end up doing the ignoring, they realize they will be ignored, so they simply don't bring it up. If a woman is branded as a bitch, diva, hard to work with, any of those things in the industry, her career could effectively be over. Especially for a woman who is not a giant mega celebrity such as Jennfier Lawrence, she may feel she has no strength in a negotiation deal. Women in the industry, actresses most of all, are made to think that they are replaceable. That fear of asking for more and simply being fired keeps a lot of women for reaching for what they deserve.
Yes, yes, and yes. Negotiating skills are so important in any industry, especially for women. Women have been conditioned to ask for less, and to remain more timid in negotiating. Overcoming this is something we have to work towards, and also something we have to instill in the next generation of women. Teaching negotiation skills is so important for this, and I wonder why we don’t get classes on this in high school or college? I also enjoy that the author of this article set standards for the other side of the negotiation as well. It’s not just on the women to get better at negotiating, it’s also on the side of the business or employer who’s hiring to understand when they are exploiting women specifically. Both sides need education on what is considered fair, and what is a result of gender expectations. Negotiation skills are a step in the right direction, and I hope more and more women are coming to the table with equal amounts confidence and preparation.
While I agree that the negative pressures of negotiation are an ever-present feeling to someone who is intimidated by the process, I don't feel that the preference to avoid the process altogether should make you seem selfish, afraid, or anything less than what you are, or lessen your talents in any way, especially when you're as talented as Jennifer Lawrence. However, I understand the strength and ownership of one's own talents and belief in self-worth that is presented when you negotiate your pay, rather than having someone else fight your battle. I'm very surprised to find that women penalize women just as much men do for being assertive in a negotiation. Is it because they come off as a threat to other women? I think it is important to aim just a little higher than you want, but I also think that if you're going to aim high, you need to be able to back it up facts and reasoning and rational evidence rather than just backing down to what you originally wanted in the first place. And if it's a confidence thing, I think it's beneficial to know your worth and to show others that you know your worth so they can pay you that amount.
It’s so funny because I have always seen the setting for a negotiation to be like Jack Donaghy’s office from 30 Rock. Everything smells like whiskey, the chairs are covered with tight, tight leather, everybody in the room is a little bit sweaty and working overtime on thinking of ways to completely destroy their opponent. I see the idea of negotiation to be really aggressive, purposefully mean and cold hearted. In reality, literally every single one of us is going to have to negotiate at some point in our lives. Right now, I’m working for minimum wage and it sucks so hard that even I am considering negotiating. But, like the article said, I’m scared of negotiating for a lot of reasons. I feel like I’m too young, I don’t want to be aggressive, I don’t want to come across as ungrateful or difficult to work with. And yet, the article introduces skills that any professional needs to learn.
Negotiating scares the hell out of me. I don't enjoy it. But it's not because I am not capable of getting what I want, or because I am scared I will be denied, it is because what people say about women, when they stand up for themselves is honestly disgusting. I think it is so important that CMU included men and women in the study that they did, because I have found that when women negotiate or assert their power, other women punish the for doing so as well as the men. This article is great because it points out that as women, and as a culture, we don't even realize that we are doing this to ourselves. It is so deep seated in our culture that women must be silent, and women inherently aren't worth what men are, that we don't even see that we are hurting ourselves. I have read Jennifer Lawrence's essay numerous times, and each time I am more shocked by how much more progress there is to be made. We have changed all the laws about women's rights, and now it's time to change the mind set.
I am encouraged to hear from Camille's comment that there is a class here at CMU that can teach us these types of important negotiating skills, because it is an often-overlooked area of education. While I have not yet had to negotiate in the professional world, I have definitely had negative experiences of negotiation in the past, especially with fellow crew members who perceived me a certain way. Women are socialized to believe that being assertive in the negotiation process automatically makes them less desirable, precisely because it often does make them less desirable in the minds of the other negotiating party, and women are often characterized negatively because of it. Hearing this stated so bluntly from a woman as well-known and liked as Jennifer Lawrence is definitely a step in the right direction towards identifying and correcting these attitudes, and hopefully this will provoke more responses from women who have experienced this in the negotiating process as well.
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