Tuesday, May 31, 2022
6 in the Six: The Problem with "The Show Must Go On" -
www.intermissionmagazine.ca: It’s cold in Winnipeg in February.
The sun is streaming in through the window, it’s just past noon, and I’m on the phone with a counsellor from the Crisis Response Centre. I’m sobbing so hard that it’s a struggle to form sentences. Doing my best to steady my voice, I try to communicate what I’m feeling to the stranger on the other side of the line: that my anxiety is so overwhelming I don’t want to exist, that every waking moment is consumed by guilt and panic, that I don’t want to be me anymore. I don’t know what she can say or do that other people haven’t already tried, but this phone call feels like one of my last options.
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The line that stuck out to me the most was the fear of letting people know of your mental health struggles due to the fear that they will not want to work with you. I also agree with the line about having privilege as I am very much privileged. The idea of the show must go on is difficult. I grew up with that mindset, not necessarily the show, but work in general. Recently the show has not gone on for me, but quite honestly I think that is a goal I hope to achieve. I personally, and this is a stance many disagree with, believe the show and work must go on, even though I have failed to prove that. I do believe it is an important one especially in an industry where we have firm deadlines, and I am currently in school where attendance and homework are my job. Having time for my mental illness is a luxury and one that I can no longer afford to take. It takes time but the ideal is to work on yourself while you work on the job. That is the most challenging thing you can ever do in my opinion, but it is the most important thing, because if that is possible, anything is possible.
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