Wednesday, December 08, 2021
Why do we hate the sound of our own voices?
Big Think: As a surgeon who specializes in treating patients with voice problems, I routinely record my patients speaking. For me, these recordings are incredibly valuable. They allow me to track slight changes in their voices from visit to visit, and it helps confirm whether surgery or voice therapy led to improvements.
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7 comments:
I didn't know that actually disliking one's own voice was a psychological phenomenon, I thought it was just simply that some of us don't like how we sound. It's interesting that this doctor notes that we perceive a richer and fuller voice, because I had always disliked my voice because my family always noted it was so deep for a girl. This is especially true when I was a kid and my parents said it was weird for a 5 year old girl to have such a low, gravely sound. I suppose in the long run, it doesn't matter much for what I plan to do, but I wonder how singers and actors react to their own voices on recording. Granted, they probably listen to themselves in this context more, but I feel like they have to like it at least a bit more? Maybe this poses the larger question of: what do we look for or find comfort in in a voice?
Nothing that was said here is entirely earth shattering and I think most of us have a more or less intuitive understanding of this phenomenon. Stereotypically, people definitely don't like the sound of their own voices and as the article said, our skull and ear bones rely in addition to sound waves, on the physical vibration of them. This is the reason the “bone conduction” headphones I have work. They sit just frontal to the tragus. This thing that was interesting hearing it from a clinician's perspective is that people really don’t like the sound of their own voice so much that they ask him not to play it for them and that theye;d rather not know. The other interesting thing that the author didn’t mention (so maybe it’s not true) is that people probably have difficulty listening to subtle changes in their own voice whereas they might be able to hear them in someone else’s.
I wouldn’t say that I personally hate my voice but I think that comes from hearing it recorded over the past few years. I think that a while ago when I wasn’t used to hearing my voice replayed, I was bothered by the sound of my voice-over recording. When I was in high school, we started recording ourselves in a theater class (I was a technician, but I still had to turn in audition videos for a dual enrollment theater class) At first I was very uncomfortable but as time went on I got used to it and now it doesn’t bug me. I cringe when I listen to some things that I say but I don’t cringe at the quality of my voice anymore. I think it is interesting to read about the reasons as to why we sound differently in our heads to what is heard or picked up by a recording device. It is kind of fascinating to think about how different people perceive their own voice, I never really think about it at this point because it’s just a part of my work and hobbies (being recorded and listening to my own voice) but I can see why it would cause people to stress or anxiety to hear their voice played back to them if they weren’t used to it
I have to agree with other commenters here, I don't think this came as a huge shock to me. We are simultaneously a microphone and an amplifier, all wrapped up into on boney skull. In many ways, though, the thing that gets us the most is that it isn't different enough. It's like how we prefer the version of us in the mirror vs us in a photo. We get used the way we look, but get uncomfortable when it looks slightly different though we can't explain exactly why. It can be personally shattering too, as the article points out, "...your voice is unique and an important component of self-identity, this mismatch can be jarring. Suddenly you realize other people have been hearing something else all along." However, that discomfort can be extremely rewarding if you work with it. As Alexa points out, being able to get over your own voice can be crucial if doing voice work. Taking it a step further, recording oneself doing a presentation (though WILDLY UNCOMFORTABLE) gives you an opportunity to drastically improve your skills. I don't think it is ever something you can get over, but you can learn from it for sure.
Oh man. My voice makes me SO mad yall. I like her when I can hear her from my own mouth, but not when I hear her out of a PHONE. Or in a video (editing my video resume for PPP was torture to my poor ears). I remember being in middle school, recording myself singing on my mom’s laptop (cringey, I know, but I also was obsessed with cat books and horses at the time so give me some grace) struggling with the fact that my own voice sounded like knives, and I googled everything to figure out why. This article is a great step up from the Yahoo Answers pages I looked at, and the paper plate tricks I tried to hear myself as others actually hear me. The last sentence of this article really comes for your neck, but it is true. We should not judge ourselves, especially for something that we cannot *easily* change.
I hate the sound of my voice. For me, I experience a lot of internalized homophobia and general discomfort with how high my voice really is compared to what I hear when I talk. There is this stereotypical “gay voice” that many gay men have that is higher pitch and typically more effeminate. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having such a voice, but in a world where the safety of queer people is often in question, there is a sense of vulnerability from being so openly queer. There is a feeling of safety that comes from passing, especially in industries that are predominately made up of straight white men like STEM and technical theater. There is this idea that I can get by, be treated seriously, and respected because “I’m not that gay.” Then, you hear a recording of yourself talk and you are brought back to reality that you are in fact that gay and you probably aren’t fooling anyone.
Ah yes, modern technology showing us exactly how others perceive us. Just like all the other comments, I don’t think I hate my voice. I think we are in a different audience pool since we are surrounded by the need to record and play back audio. We are exposed to our own voices more regularly than most people would be. There also becomes a point when we are dealing with our own voices in recordings where we lose the feeling of cringe in hearing them and it just becomes another thing that needs to be edited or managed. I don’t love my voice and I am aware that my head voice sounds deeper and richer, but I can deal with it and not put up a fuss. It is something about me that I could change with a lot of time and work but in the end no one would care but me.
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