CMU School of Drama


Wednesday, September 19, 2018

What to think about before being honest

www.fastcompany.com: Giving someone negative feedback, even when it’s requested, can be uncomfortable. You never know how well your input will be received, and you don’t know what the person will do once they have the information. But people can’t grow unless they know where their gap areas are, says Cheryl Hyatt, partner at Hyatt-Fennell Executive Search.

18 comments:

Samantha Williams said...


Honesty is always the best policy, except when it is sometimes not. If we deliver honest statements when they are unneeded or if we say them intentionally or unintentionally with malice, honesty can create problems for the parties involved. Honesty should always be constructive, and given with the intention to create growth. This article is a good set of guidelines to follow should someone wish to share honesty in a constructive manner with others. Being strategic with the information you give can greatly benefit a person receiving honest criticism. I think the tips provided in this article can help someone learn how to provide people with constructive honesty without creating a conflict that could arise if one is not careful with the delivery of said honesty. Honesty is a touchy subject, and many can take offense to it. Your best bet is to follow these steps and be honest respectfully.

Chai said...


Getting feedback can often be one of the hardest things to do. Between different cultures, the way we approach giving feedback can be drastically different. Being raised in the US, I found it extremely difficult to experience the tough way Japanese people provide feedback. Everything is about efficiency, and feedback is told at you completely informationally. The motivation for this feedback of course, wasn't to make me feel bad, but to address what I should improve so I can work on it. In Japan, I struggled to get used to this and not take it personally. Americans are more obsessed with the nuances of conversation, and require that care. Often we judge others based on their actions and ourselves by our intentions. By believing in someone and taking the time to properly give feedback, people can respect and help someone else out.

Margaret Shumate said...

This is a really quick read (like seriously 30 seconds), but it covers an important topic that I think most people are unsure how to approach. I know that I’ve heard since I was fairly little that I should seek to provide “constructive criticism,” with very little information on how to do that or what exactly constructive criticism is. By the time I got to middle school I got the gist, and by the time I got to high school discussions occasionally cropped up that might offer examples of what is and what is not constructive, but there was never a how-to. While this article is pretty surface level, it at least offers some clear, concise guidelines into not just what is constructive criticism, but more importantly how to organize, edit, and present your thoughts and feelings about a project or person in a constructive way that benefits everyone. All four questions offered by the article are instructive and valuable, but the first two especially (“What does the person really want to know?” and “What is my most important observation?”) are extremely effective. When we think of constructive criticism I know I often think of how to tell a person everything they’re doing wrong but in a nice way. These two questions offer efficient ways of cutting down that information into the most useful form, which is not necessarily the most exhaustive list of problems but is the feedback that the person needs and can benefit from the most.

Reesha A. said...

People often say that honesty is the best policy. But it is also a thing that is hard to digest and hard to deliver. For someone on the recieving end of a honest judgement, the person need sto constantly remind himself of how he must digest and filter out the judgement as to what he deems necessary and not taking everything siad seriously because not everything is true. There are moments when the receivers are eager for honest judgement to correct their craft or add on to it but they often are hard-hit by the truth, probably because what they thought to be powerful ended up being weak in the eyes of someone else. And when that happens, when someone realizes that their hard work has been wasted, they are broken. But receivers need to make sure that they only take in comments which they feel will truly help them correct their craft.
The commentators on the other hand need to realize the thin line that exists between honest and required judgement versus insult and useless comments. Being a critique to someone's work is a huge responsibility. And it is an honorable one too. So people need to respect it in a sense that what they are saying is limited only to the work of the person and not to the person itself and what they are saying is beneficial in a sense that will make the art even more beautiful and appealing. But the most important thing for the commentators is the realization.

Julian G said...

I think there are a lot of really good points about feedback in this article. In general I’ve seen articles about how to give negative feedback (very often recommending some variant of the sandwich method) but not as much when. Giving negative feedback with the intention of improving the project or helping the long term growth of employees is super important. Giving negative feedback because you are frustrated and want to make a point is just being angry and is unlikely to be constructive. Similarly, it is super important to make sure the person is ready for feedback. If someone isn’t expecting constructive criticism and are caught off guard, they might end up feeling attacked and therefore just get defensive or upset even if they would’ve responded positively to the exact same feedback stated in the exact same way if they were ready for it. I certainly know I’ve had times were I got frustrated by criticism that I would’ve actively requested and wanted but just wasn’t ready for in the particular moment when it was given.

Madeleine Evans said...

I really do find this to be an important article and topic of discussion. A lot of study and work into recruitment and retention has to do with feedback--how it is delivered, and when/how often it occurs. The article reports Chris Hyatt saying that"“It’s important for an employee or candidate to understand why they weren’t moved forward or what they need to do to take the next step in their career,” she says. “Honest feedback is critical, but how that feedback is relayed is more important." I really couldn't agree with this more. If an employer is unable to give specifics or metrics on what went wrong, how is an employee expected to be able to improve? I also really think the last point that, "Feedback is different than criticism," is vital for people to remember. An employer should be focusing on how they can give constructive feedback--that doesn't mean that it has to be all flowers and rainbows, but it needs to be in the vein that improvement is the aim. The article hammers this home really well at the end, with Hyatt talking about the importance of lifelong learning and realizing when there is a gap and how to fill it--"“In order to give feedback, you say, ‘Here are areas where you’re failing. Here’s the potential you have, and here’s the gap.’ Everybody is a lifelong learner, from lower-level employees to the CEO or board members. You have to continue to learn about the skills you need that will help you advance.”" Focusing on the potential is key for any employee/employer success.

Vanessa Ramon said...

I think this article brings up many important factors to consider when giving someone feedback. If you approach the situation in the wrong way your criticism will be taken poorly no matter the intention so it's important to think about how you will say what you want to say. The four factors laid out in the article are all important things to consider when deciding what to say and how to say it. I really like the tip of considering what the person really wants to know. If you criticize an aspect that they weren't expecting to be criticized, it will most likely hurt them and ruin the relationship. Another tip that I think is very important whenever you give 'honest' feedback is to remind yourself of your motivation. Is it to help? is it to point out something that the artist doesn't see? is it to harm? When you recognize your motivation it can help you decide if your feedback is what the creator needs.

Stephanie Akpapuna said...

Providing feedback differs from place to place and it is very important to understand whatever system we're in to be able to receive and give feedback. I really enjoyed this article because it was very informative an it shed light about being objective when giving feedback. It is important to recognize that giving feedback is not about you but about what will make that individual grow and learn. The article also made very important points about finding out what the person needs, prioritizing the important information and knowing some things are just not needed at that point in time. Intent is not as important as effect when it comes to passing information across.

Kaylie C. said...

This is a great article to post this time of year. Us freshmen are just now learning how to give effective feedback while working on our projects together in studio. Honesty is only the best policy when you have the best intentions in mind. Honesty and criticism with a bias is useless. I am glad that this article points out that you should only give your most important critiques. Giving someone a laundry list of things you believe to be wrong with their paper/project is never helpful. I also think that as a person seeking advice, it is good to have a specific question in mind. A professor never ever wants to receive an email from a student asking for them to read a whole paper and send back edits. That will end with either being ignored, or having your entire paper torn apart, along with leaving that professor with a bad impression of your. When asking for advice, being as specific and direct as possible will help you avoid a situation where you receive advice you weren’t looking for and help you come across as someone who knows how to handle themselves, but knows how to as for help rather than someone who didn’t read the rubric and can’t be bothered to.

Ari Cobb said...

For the longest time I believed that honesty was more important to uphold rather than the person’s emotions; and to a certain degree I still think so. But honesty where it’s not crucial or asked for isn’t necessarily good. Especially here in America (I’m not sure about other countries) where getting criticism and judgements are taken extremely personally. You have to take into account other people’s sensitivities and insecurities before just telling them things flat out. This article does a really good job of outlining the key things to think about when going about giving criticisms. The first one, “what does the person really want to know?” is good to think about so that you don’t make comments or tell them things they don’t need to hear, or that they already know of. “What is my most important observation?” Is also important. If you start breaking things down too far and getting too nit-picky about the smaller things that don’t need to be stressed, it can make the other person feel like nothing they do is right. They should know what they need to do to make things right or better, but not treated like they’re incompetent. “What is my motivation” I think, is the most important. It’s basically just whether or not you want to be an asshole to them or you’re actually trying to help them out. If the criticisms are coming from a place where you want them to feel bad, then it’s probably best to just not say anything. Lastly, “what will happen if I don’t provide feedback?” If there’s no harm in not saying anything, and they don’t ask for it. Maybe it’s not necessary to say anything to them. Yes, honesty is important and you shouldn’t need to lie your way through life. But being conscious and considerate of the others around you will get you farther than just flat out honesty.

Kelly Simons said...

I think I have a chronic case of being too honest sometimes. And I a
m actively trying to not be cruel about my truth telling like I have been in the past. I do think this article may have over analyzed truth telling and honesty a bit, but that's only my honest opinion (haha). I think maybe currently everyone is a little afraid of being too truthful and have started to pull their punches when providing feedback. If I do not get the real and blunt truth during a feedback session I will not improve. Do not hide your feedback under layers and layers of kind of compliments with some truths in them. I do not like it at all when the water gets muddied to spare someone's feelings.But, who knows? Perhaps most people dislike me because I am too harsh and have not ever told me. I always think telling the truth is the best policy.

Lauren Sousa said...

Giving feedback is so critical if you find yourself in any leadership position or advisory role and giving people negative feedback can be a tough situation. I think all these points are valid and the one I hold as the most important is motivation. If I am giving feedback to someone I want them to grow and get better or else I wouldn’t invest my time in giving them feedback, without honesty no one can get better. I think there are different tactics to employ in order to make people more receptive to hearing negative feedback. I know one of the educational tactics is the Oreo cookie method of giving constructive criticism, starting with the positive, inserting some negative feedback and closing out with something else that was well done. This sort of feedback is needed, but it is largely at the discretion of the person giving the feedback of how to approach it and that will determine if it can actually be beneficial or not. It’s important to feel as though you’re working with the individual instead of opposing them.

jeremy Littlefield said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jeremy Littlefield said...

Giving honest feedback can be one of the easiest or the hardest things to do all depending on the situation. The goal should be to be more honest overall as to help others by giving accurate and current observations in order to help them understand how things are being seen outside of their view. The reasoning this can be seen as cruel many times is because people often don't look at these things until after they are mentioned and can tend to go through a reactionary process. The key that this article says for me is that one needs to be sure of your motivations in telling them and that it is indeed something that is going to help not designed to hurt them. I also find it essential to make those adjustments when giving feedback my listening to what they are saying in return to be sure the message is coming across as intended which can be seemingly impossible at times.

DJ L. said...

This article on negative feedback really gave me a new and interesting perspective on it. As the article acknowledges, getting negative feedback can be an uncomfortable experience. First, I love that the author recommends stepping back and “reading between the lines” to find out if the person is actually asking for feedback or if they are asking for help or approval. Then I like how he talks about picking one things to say instead of a list. For me, this would definitely intimidate me a lot less in the moment. And then you have to again take a step back and think about why you had the reaction to the idea or project that you did. Ask why it made you feel that way. I think that is very important to help you formulate what to say. And last, think about the consequences of what you say. This is the most important thing as it will help you understand how what you are saying may affect the other person.

Julien Sat-Vollhardt said...

Having read the four things to consider when giving honest feedback, I really think that the last one is the most important. Thinking "WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DON’T PROVIDE FEEDBACK?" before doing it is such an important question so you know you're not expressing feedback just to satisfy yourself, but rather for a genuine helping and supporting spirit. I think that is really the first thing that goes wrong whenever someone gives feedback to another person. Oftentimes the person giving "feedback" just wants to prove their superiority over another person, or get back at them for a supposed slight, and will not admit their own wrongs. The person providing the feeedback must also be able to receive genuine feedback without flipping out; they must be able to admit they're wrong before telling other people they're wrong. It is alright to make mistakes, you just have to be able to admit them to yourself, learn from them, and then allow others to be able to learn from your mistakes as well.

Briana Green said...

One of the most difficult things to do in life is to be completely honest with someone. There are many things you have to take into consideration before giving someone your thoughts and critiques. Working in theater, the best way to learn is through receiving any type of feedback, even if it’s harsh. Having an unapologetic voice can be very controversial but in order to be heard, understood, and start a conversation, you need to be able to firmly give your stance. There are always exceptions to every notion, sometimes you need to spare or alter your honesty for various reasons; like speaking to a child versus speaking to an adult. Since it is just my freshman year, I’m constantly searching for feedback and fearing the bad critiques I will receive on my products. This article throws you into the position of being the one delivering these opinions and critiques, while it may not apply to everyone, I think it’s an important read because it makes you reflect on how you’re delivering your words onto others.

Sarah Battaglia said...

One of the things I say in interviews when people ask me what I learned from CMU is is that I am really good at being wrong. I am really good at being told that something I have done is not good enough or not acceptable because that happens all the time here. I think maybe twice has a teacher said good job to me without adding some qualifier to the end. I used to think that that was a bad thing but it gave me a back bone and made me good at taking criticism. Honesty is a part of life and it should be a part of work too. If you are unhappy with someones job performance or attitude it doesn't do you are them any good to not talk about it. Obviously, it is important to be kind in your discussion and to respect the other persons feelings but we still have to be honest. We have to be honest about how we are all feeling and the consequences of peoples actions. Truthfully at work we are all adults and there is no reason not to act like it.