Attention underachievers: How to win the Pulitzer prize for drama in five easy steps

guardian.co.uk: "If you follow my five easy steps and still don't win, well, that's your fault. Since the award's inception 1917, there have been 14 years in which officials found no prize-worthy contender. That could happen again this year, if Ruined is deemed insufficiently American in its focus. But look to the future: if one day you find yourself accepting the coveted prize, please remember me in your thank yous."